Damon's on Letterman...

No, not Matt, dear readers, but our newly shaved and shorn edition to the Yanks. Lest you think Johnny's screwing up his sleep for Opening Day, rest assured, Letterman tapes at 5pm. The anticipation is killing me how he'll handle Dave...

Lest you forget the Queer Eye For The Straight Guy Georgie Boy pulled on him, here's a little before and after for you:

Before:

and, After:

It's amazing what a set of pinstripes can do.

Apologies for those that don't care, but Billy Crystal's on and annoying me...Ok, now he's picking on Bonds and the fans throwing syringes at him. And who can't find fun in that?

"Are they throwing tigers back at Roy [Horn}?" Not bad, Billy. I dig it.

And, once again, you're annoying me. Let him pitch his kids book and move on, Dave...Seriously, Billy's been going on about his termite problem for 5 mins now. I might gouge ears out in a minute if Dave doesn't move him along.

Finally, Damon's coming...

And, he's looking like one of Nick Lachey's booted back up dancers. Hair's much better though.

Dave: "and the reason you're off to a slow start is that you're all a bunch of low paid beginners."

God, I love Dave.

He's excited to "put on pinstripes tomorrow and walk out to the field and hope that the fans don't throw something at me."

Ok, that just earned my respect.

Now Dave's going to go embarrass himself playing catch...

It's actually a batting practice. Dave's started getting pitching advice from "Joe". Holyfucknuts, it's St. Torre. Joe himself came out to pitch Damon...and gets in 2 real strikes. Damon is quickly replaced for Crystal. Joe, I've never loved you more. And Damon, again welcome. Glad to have you.

Just don't pull that tomorrow...