The F Train Follies

Our Conductors, Drivers and Riders and back, and snarkier than ever. Because it's been a while, a little special Isle Of Staten Ferry quote for you, too. Care of our friends at www.overheardinnewyork.com:

Bus driver: Move to the back of the bus. They're giving free diamonds in the back of the bus. See that lady in the back for your free diamond.
--M2 bus

Recording: This is Brooklyn Bridge Girl #1: This don't look like Brooklyn Bridge Girl# 2: I know, maybe they're doing renovations or something. Lady in suit: We're still in the tunnel. --Downtown 4 Train

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay. I promise it will never. happen. again. --Uptown C train

Conductor: For local service, switch to the D Train. Yes, for local service, take the D. I know many of you don't believe me, but I know you know in your hearts that I am right. And if you glance to your right, you'll see there is a D train on the next platform. Excellent. --B train

Do-gooder: Excuse me, you're not allowed to smoke in here. Stoner lady: My bad, you want some? Do-gooder: Um, no thanks, can you just put it out. Stoner lady: Yeah, I used to do cocaine too, but it got too messy. --1 train

And as promised, a little Staten Island for you, dear readers:

Chick: I'm no whore. I told him, the closest you're getting to getting me from behind, you know, doggie style, is licking your own balls and humping my leg. --Staten Island Ferry