Punch Prius

I'm a big fan of playing that throwback game Punch Buggy. Since VW re-released the updated version of the popular car back in 1998, I've been able to wallop on innocent (and often annoyed) companions in earnest. Based on this past Tuesday's events I'm considering updating the game to Punch Prius.


The Rules:

1. Once arriving at your girlfriend's block, park your eco-friendly ride on a relatively quiet side street in Brownstone Brooklyn, preferably near a rumored to be not entirely legal construction site discovered after being the unfortunate recipient of a few too many alternate side parking tickets

2. Pay no mind to the mega-dumpster parked outside said rumored to be not entirely legal construction site as the thing's been butting out into the road for months.

3. Be gleeful you've the artfully planned a day off from work (cough, cough...I'm not feeling too well...) and can sleep in late.

4. The next morning, momentarily question your parallel parking skills when upon approaching your ride you find it now at a 30 degree angle hopped up on the sidewalk, its right headlight hugging the tree outside St. Mary Star of the Sea Roman Catholic Church's Rectory.

5. Note the proximity of the Prius to the megadumpster and how someone had to be flying down the road, see the dumpster too late and in turn ram into your car hard enough to do this damage.

6. Notice the left back end's now eerie resemblance to the crumpled bodywork of "Greased Lighting" after the pivotal drag race.

7. Collect no less than a fistful of body shop and tow truck cards, tsk-tsks, pity and advice from every passerby, the 76 Precinct's seemingly entire roster of on-duty officers and top brass stopping by yet wait 45 minutes for an angelic traffic officer in one of those johnny scooter things to arrive with the actual paper work whilst becoming the object of the entire neighborhood's gossip circle that morning.

8. Wait another two hours for Geico to send a flat bed tow truck from Bay Ridge to drag your mangled wreck back to the Toyota dealership in Jersey (added value: hitching a free ride)

9. Realizing your "sick day" ended up costing you your car and insurance deductible but ultimately showed a neighborhood's concern and caring (well, except for that one anonymous asshole who was behind the hit and run at 4:30am): Priceless

Punch Prius. It's what all the cool kids will be doing.