Would you hit it?

Comedian Gilbert Gottfried was crowned "unsexiest man in the world" by an alternative newspaper Tuesday.

"The parrot-voiced, pickle-faced comic is to sexy what Kryptonite is to Superman," The Boston Phoenix wrote.

New York Yankees pitcher Randy Johnson came in second (must have been, in part, due to his shitty outting yesterday) followed by film critic Roger Ebert and Dr. Phil McGraw. All good picks in my opinion.

Osama bin Laden clocked in at number eight. What's wrong, don't bostonians know facial hair's making a huge comeback?

And surprise, surprise...Georgieboy Steinbrenner also made the list.

"Come on, we live in Boston, you knew it was coming," the Phoenix said.