How To Be A Gold Digger, by Forbes.com

I saw on the news last night that Forbes had announced it's annual rundown of millionaires. To add insult to injury of my broke ass, I went on-line to compare my meager agency earnings to the likes of Stern, Gates and Oprah.

Imagine my surprise to actually see the following headline on the homepage:

"How To Land A Rich Man" by Lacey Rose.

Serious Forbes, WTF? I'd expect such lowbrow crap from slutcentric Cosmo or a copycat 'zine, but from you?

Well, of COURSE, I had to click into the article (Disclaimer for The Boyfriend - Simple curiosity, I swear! xoxo - Z.)

Woven into the not so sarcastic piece are a few mind-blowing tips that just set the female race back about 30 years:

*"Upgrade Your Whereabouts": Divine direction to "get your regular cup of joe down in the financial district" Wall Street types have money and hang out in the area? OMG, Who knew?!?

*Stalk the penguin-suited at a charity event. If the letches don't pounce, you can always load up on the free booze and rubber chicken.

*"Matchmaker, matchmaker Make Me A Match!": Pay for some hag to hook you up with a guy who's already in the market for a gold digging wench.

*"So if it's a thick wallet you're after, consider life as a luxury real estate broker, a concierge at a five-star hotel or even a flight attendant--on a private jet, of course." Hey, it's worked on Trump...

*"Like sports? Who cares. Sporting events at the country club--like golf opens or tennis tournaments--are a must for singles seeking wealthy mates." What, the Bleacher Creatures with their $5 seats and snuck-in brewskis aren't good enough?

*"Never approach him; let him approach you. "Wealthy men in particular like to earn what they're getting," she explains. "They like to fight for it, rather than have it drop into their lap." Take that, Diana Bianchi!

*Monica knew best: "Get Political! Join both parties if you must," suggests Sayles. "We're not talking about morality, we're talking about opportunity."