You Must Be Out Of Your Fucking Mind To Do This To Yourself

I've seen the above guy on TV before and he was featured in the Times a while back. Look closely at his tongue. Notice there's now two of them? That's because the idiot had the front half split into two to better resemble a snake.

You read that right - He wants to be a human snake. And he's not alone. This growing trend is called Body Modification, of which Cnn's just caught on to by providing this helpful definition: "Some people get horns implanted on their heads. Some install magnets in their hands, creating a 'sixth sense' for feeling magnetic fields. Others remold their ears to make them pointy."

Sounds kinda kinky until you literally bump into this couple while strolling along in Brooklyn on a lazy weekend afternoon not too long ago:

(He didn't have the beard, but...well, he's lanky and...fucking blue while she's kinda thick-waisted and...looks like a fucking cat! Z's not the type to get all second glance on people, dear readers, but even my beloved ginormous sunglasses couldn't contain the bugfest of my eyes!)