Little Jerks

I must preface it was a long day today. My team presented our bi-annual dog and pony show to the CEOs and management of our brands this morning, followed by a two hour briefing by one of these brands. I was suited up and donning heels all day. All I wanted to do was get home, throw on jeans and a hoodie and cozy up barefoot on the couch with a glass of wine. When my meeting let out around 3:30pm, I headed to Brooklyn to do just that, excited to make it home at such an early hour.

As I got within a half block of my apartment, I felt something hit the back of my head. Confused, I turned around to see a pack of boys who, at most, were underclassmen in high school. A few of them were laughing and one scooted down to pick up a wadded up newspaper from the sidewalk. I gave them a dirty look and said "Seriously?" before moving on. One of the kids, taller and clearly more mature, had separated himself from the group and as I passed the Social Club on the corner of 4th Place and Court Street in my neighborhood, I snarked to him "Classy group of friends you have there" just as I felt another THWACK in the back of the head, this time with something a little harder than newspaper.

Immediately I turned around and called out to them "Was that really necessary? Grow up!" and crossed against a red light purposely as a cab was barreling down the road to put space between me and the boys. As I passed Hanley's, the neighborhood pub, I felt yet another THWACK in the back of my head. Pissed, I whipped around and yelled "WHAT THE FUCK!" and almost made a lunge before letting it sink in that I was now surrounded by a pack of teenage boys who, if alone, wouldn't normally act like jerks, but together, could egg each other on to become....well, possibly violent. Also, I was in front of my walk up apartment and the vestibule in which I'd need to fish out my keys from the bottom of my bag and not a place I wanted to either make them aware of or spend any length of time considering the current situation.

Half of the little fuckers ran east to Smith Street. Half remained, a few of which made it clear they weren't involved. I honestly didn't know what to do during the taunting and snide comments the remaining jerks were making for a few seconds when my making it clear I was an adult and they were kids didn't work. Repeating to them the names I began hearing their friends calling from down the block and the sudden appearance of a few construction workers from the nearby site scared them off. Assured they were headed off my block, I called to the few uninvolved ones standing stupefied in front of my apartment entrance to meet them down the street as they were likely headed an alternative route south to Red Hook.

A guy walking his dog asked if I was OK. I assured him I was, just a little shook up. One of the Grandpas from the Social Club approached and said I should call the cops. Apparently this same group of boys harass people all the time on their way home from school. I thought it was a little silly, as I wasn't hurt and they were kids after all, but then I thought what if they ran into a lone kid their age or filled with adrenaline, decided to pull a worse prank on the next person.

Fuck it. I dialed 911 and advised them to send a cruiser from the 76th precinct to patrol the surrounding streets south of my block for a pack of teenage boys. A little over the top, I know, but better than me running down the street after them and/or me grabbing the ringleading little fucker Emice by the collar and throwing him down onto the sidewalk like I really wanted to, right?