Z. Madison

For when you're relaxing at home or killing company time - Z. Madison's here for you.


Cheetah, You Slut!

This was an actual headline on CNN.com today:

Study: Female cheetahs sleep around

In case you missed it, the key highlights of the article include:

"Mating with more than one male poses a serious threat to females, increasing the risk of exposure to parasites and diseases," said Dada Gottelli, ZSL's lead scientist for the research.

"Females also have to travel over large distances to find new males, making them more vulnerable to predation, so infidelity is a heavy burden."

I'm thinking CNN's intern wrote this article as most any female college sophomore could spout the same learnings from experience. So I decided to dig deeper to see just what else we 20something ladies share with the frisky felines:
  • *Female cheetahs like their men to smell good. The Wildlife Conservation Society, which oversees all New York City zoos and aquariums, concluded the spotted ladies residing in the Bronx Zoo prefer Calvin Klein Obsession for Men as their favorite male cologne. My first boyfriend in college wore just that scent...coincidence?
  • *The Times Online (UK) chimes in: While female cheetahs are [sexually] receptive, males try to monopolise them. Our results demonstrate that males are often not successful in monopolising a female.” Bravo spotted ladies, bravo for strutting that independent spirit.
  • *"Cheetahs hunt by sight. Once the desired prey is sighted, the cheetah silently stalks it, until it is within 50 - 100 yards of it. Then it explodes into action, and chases its prey across the savannah." [Lioncrusher] Substitute "savannah" for any bar or club late on a Saturday night and you just described a typical 20something mating ritual.
  • *Although they may mate several times a day, the act of copulation itself lasts only a minute or two at most. (cough, cough)
  • *Cheetahs do not roar, but they do purr, hiss, whine and growl. Sounds like most females I know...
Ladies, it appears we haven't evolved much beyond our fabulously coated feline friends.

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Cate Is The Hotness

Cate Blanchett's character in the upcoming and highly anticipated fourth installment of the Indiana Jones series will not be playing Harrison Ford's latest love interest as widely speculated.

Instead, she'll be playing a Russian villainess in Indiana Jones and The City Of Gods,. Oh, the hotness she'll be bringing to the role. I'm already salivating over the thought of the costumes, accent and sexy attitude she'll be expertly strutting.

Nazdorovia, Cate!

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Thank You

While I hope everyone enjoyed the good weather, beach and BBQs this weekend, please take a minute to give respect to all the men and women who've given their lives so that we can enjoy the rights we do today.

In Iraq alone 3,435 Americans, two Australians, 149 Britons, 13 Bulgarians, seven Danes, two Dutch, two Estonians, one Fijian, one Hungarian, 32 Italians, one Kazakh, three Latvian, 19 Poles, two Romanians, five Salvadoran, four Slovaks, 11 Spaniards, two Thai and 18 Ukrainians have given their lives as of May 24, 2007.

Z sends some love and gratitude to all those who have given the ultimate sacrifice, from the Revolutionary War to those who fought in Caves or Sand.

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Dumpwatch 2007: A Less Rosier View

Eight months of bickering have finally come to an end, as Rosie O'Donnel was granted an early release from her contract, likely due to the latest heated exchange with Elizabeth Hasselback on Wednesday.

ABC issued this statement:

"We had hoped that Rosie would be with us until the end of her contract three weeks from now, but Rosie has informed us that she would like an early leave. Therefore, we part ways, thank her for her tremendous contribution to 'The View' and wish her well."

Rosie and Barbara Walters have also issued polite and PC statements. Hasselback's been mum but you just know she's dancing a jig of happiness. And, of course, The Donald had to get one last swipe in: "A great service was done by getting her off the airwaves ... she's a disaster."

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The F Train Follies: Sometimes I Just Hate People...

...especially twats so into their newspapers that they don't pay attention or hold on to the subway cars' bars. So to the broad on the uptown bound C train at 9am this morning, I gotta know: what were you reading in the Daily News that was so compelling and profound as to engross you into forgetting you were on an older car that rides a bit rough? Did you not notice that everyone was being jostled around and hanging on to their respective walls/bars/doorways for dear life?

Apparently not as just before the WTC stop you went flying, elbowing the guy next to me and knocking me squarely into the path of the side of a seat. To be more specific, grinding my knee into the 90 degree metal corner of the seat, causing an explosion of pain, blood and immediate bruising.

True, you gave me a half-hearted "are you ok" before scurrying to the nearest pole to continue your article with your back to me, but I'm still hating on you. And your Daily News.

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Boofuckinghoo, Staten Island

Not sure if you caught this tidbit in the City section of last week's NY Times, but some residents in our favorite borough to hate on are up in arms about the new Grand Theft Auto IV game. It's to be released in October, but already the worst kept secret in all of gaming is how the fictional "Liberty City" in which Niko Bellic reigns hell, so closely resembles New York that it might as well be a google mapping.

"You can carjack a hot rod in DUMBO and zoom down the Manhattan Bridge at 140 miles an hour. If you're short on cash, you can mug a tourist in Times Square or stick up a group of workers on the Red Hook Piers." Algonquin is Manhattan, Broker - duh, Brooklyn. Hell, even Jersey gets a shoutout in the eerily similar Alderney. And where can't a gamer unleash his inner warrior? Why, Staten Island of course.

Apparently, Rockstar Games feels the same way most NYers do about our much forgotten neighboring borough to the south as spokesman Rodney Walker explains that the sprawling space the island warrants has been "explored in other games already."

While loyal SI gamers are upset, local officials are relieved. State Senator Andrew Lanza (R-Staten Island) reveals why his stomping ground was given the oversight: "It's because they know Staten Island is the safest place in the entire city."

Um, right...and there's a Broker Bridge I'd like to sell you Sen. Lanza.

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Wedwatch 2007: Winehouse Edition

Congratulations to my current musical obsession Amy Winehouse. The eyelined phenom got married to boyfriend Blake Fielder-Civil in Miami on Friday.

Here's her doing what she does best on Letterman back in March. Enjoy!

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Yes, That's A Horn Growing Out Of Her Forehead

I was so disturbed by this picture, I had to share...

Yangcheng Evening Post reports that 95 year old Granny Zhao of China first spotted a mole on her forehead three years ago. It's since grown into the pumpkin husk like shape you see above.

Granny Zhao says it causes her no discomfort and only blocks part of her vision. It doesn't really bother her and she basically pays it no mind. Her family, on the other hand, is hoping that medical experts can explain what the fuck it is.

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Coming Soon To A Cab Driving You

According to the NY Times, some 13,000 NYC cabs are about to be outfitted with a state of the art touch screen computers. The computers will make it possible to pay via credit card, check the news and, most importantly in my opinion as a ruthless backseat driver, allow you to map the cab and check on traffic conditions.

Not surprisingly, many cabbies oppose the idea citing Big Brother tendencies of officials and the cost of installation.

I say bring 'em on!

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Hail To the Queen: Royal Fuck-up Edition

Leave it to W to (yet again) make a fool of himself by unwittingly insulting Queen Elizabeth, currently stateside with an arsenal of fabulous hats to take in the Kentucky Derby and otherwise delight the masses of adoring would-be subjects should things have gone a different way some 231 years ago.

And of course he followed up the flub by brandishing her the infamous W Wink...

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Off To The Slammer

When I heard that the prosecuting attorney in the sentencing of Paris Hilton's violation of her probation was asking for jail time, I didn't think the judge would rule in his favor.

He did and the famous for being a slut heiress is off to the clinker for 45 days.

Now, I'm no fan. In fact, I can't stand the twat. But, doesn't this seem a bit excessive? Afterall, Lizzie Grubman got less for mowing down a crowd with her SUV out in the Hamptons a few years back. Eh, at least we get 45 full days of no tabloid coverage...

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The F Train Follies - 5 O'clock Shadow Edition

Yesterday I had plans to meet up with a girlfriend for some much needed catching up over a few Rosés post work. While riding uptown on the 1 train, between Christopher and 14th Street, I heard a loud buzz permeate through Amy Winehouse's new track blasting through my ipod headphones. Glancing around, I quickly spotted the source: a pudgy 30ish guy in a cheap suit shaving with an electronic shaver. This guy was really going to town on his face while never taking his eyes off the book he was reading. I have seen my share of grooming on the subway, but I admit, I gawked at the guy all the way to 23rd where he snapped the thing to OFF, slipped it and his book into his bag and exited the train.

As he wasn't overly hairy, seriously, was this necessary at 6pm?

Here's hoping he scored on a hot date...

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Panther Or Just Delusional Jersians?

Residents in a rural part of Jersey are living in fear of the black PANTHER they claim is prowling the neighborhood since last fall. Animal control won't confirm what the animal is but did advise residents to "keep a close eye on their children." And, as always, "Residents are advised to call authorities immediately if they see any large animal in the area."

It's hard to tell from the photos, but that is clearly a large feline of some sort. After hearing about that guy in the Bronx with a tiger as a pet, anything's possible...

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