Those Crazy Brits

You know an article will gain my undivided attention when it starts like this:

"British firefighters said on Wednesday they had come to a boy's rescue after he got a toilet seat stuck on his head."

The full article is here, but the best part was the following quote from one of the firefighters:

"We simply put some dish washing liquid on his head and ears and it slid off nice as pie."

Now I have a vision of a toilet, a snot-maker getting doused with Dawn by a bunch of firemen and...a piece of pie. Yeah, marinate on that for a bit.

Think he's related to this kid?

Source: Radar

Brooklyn's Bravest

There are many things one would expect to find in the infamously toxic Gowanus Canal. Oil slicks? Sure. Dead bodies? Likely. Raw Sewage? Most definitely. Sea loving creatures? Yeah, right. And I bet you've got a bridge you'd like to sell me...


So, when I read on Curbed via Gowanus Lounge yesterday that a whale (yes, a real fucking whale!) had found its way into the Gowanus Canal, I thought it was a belated April Fools joke. But no, it's true!



See West 9th Street on the map where it meets the BQE? My apartment's a few blocks or so north of there and the fiesty baby Baleen whale currently hanging in "Gowanus Bay." I plan on stalking the little guy should he still be around this weekend, although considering the mass pollution of the water, part of me hopes he realizes his mistake and hauls ass outta there.


Source: Pics care of Gowanus Lounge, who's all over this story. Thanks, Rus!

UPDATE: Sadly, our Sludgie The Whale has passed into that great big ocean in the sky. We're going to miss the thought of the little guy.

Maxim Nailed It

Oh you naughty boys at Maxim!

In case you haven't yet heard, Maxim.com named Sanjaya, everyone's favorite American Idol Wannabe, as their Hot Slut Of The Day...er "Today's Girl":

"You've no one but the Devil's lawyer to blame for this androgynous American Idol stowaway, who, despite being detested by the judges, somehow remains in the hunt for the show's coveted prize as this year's top 40 footnote..."

I've found the crop of Idolits beyond boring this season and keep tuning in just to see how Sanja's going to do his hair. (Although truth be told...he wasn't half bad last week) I haven't yet texted in my love for a contestant, but Sanja just might get my fingers a-twitching this week.

Rock the vote, kids!

Dumpwatch 2007: Wills Is Searching For A New Queen

I liked Kate Middleton and Prince William together. They seemed to compliment one another and word was that even the Queen's inner circle approved of the match and welcomed Kate with open arms. She is beautiful, smart and classy; perfect woman to groom to be Queen.

Ah, but like most young love affairs, there's wasn't meant to be. William, 24, and Kate, 25, have officially confirmed their amicable split.

Young ladies across Britain must be rejoicing their King-to-be is once again on the market.

Dream Weaver

Last night I dreamt I saw one of my clients naked.

Now, now, get your minds out of the gutters. It was not at all a sexual thing (although the brand President in question is an attractive late 30s/early 40s Frenchman). He was changing in front of me while we discussed business. (Apparently, he chooses to free-ball it in my dreamworld.) I made it a point to divert my eyes from his bare behind and continue the discussion as if nothing was amiss.

The dream was so poignant, that I woke myself up from it at quarter to five and couldn't get back to sleep. Now that I've been at work for nearly two hours and am fortified on way too much caffeine, I'm wondering just what the dream meant.

I've had enough Intro to Psych academia to at least tackle the usual suspects: I've been raking over said client's media plans to see if I've overlooked something that is leaving his brand vulnerable, pouring over the latest agency invoices to ensure everything's accounted for, rechecking my inbox for unread emails. Nope, everything's as it should be.

So why then, the asexual naked Frenchman? I may never know, but thankfully it wasn't his much older German counterpart on another of my brands housed across the street.

Soprano's Seven Minute Summary

Just in time for Sunday's premiere, someone's put together a remarkable summany of The Soprano's thus far. It's long, but worth it. Enjoy!

Essie Introduces "Starter Wife"

Although it's feeling more like February than April, most of you ladies have likely retired your "Wicked" and other winter nail hues for the far lighter "Ballet Slippers" and "Like Linen." (Sorry, I'm loyal to Essie - the only O.P.I. shade I know is Bubble Bath). Why not broaden your shade selection to the new "Starter Wife" pictured above? According to NYMag.com, it is "super-shiny and has the slightest hint of pink."

That, and the name is genius.

Deathwatch 2007: Chumley's

It's a sad, sad day dear readers. At first, I didn't want to believe the breaking news on Gawker but the pictures and coverage on Curbed confirmed it.

A wall collapsed at 82-86 Bedford Street. Telling that address to a cabbie was the only way I could find myself to the mythical corner of Bedford and Barrow back when the West Village was still an unnavigable maze. From the moment my then boss took me and a coworker there after a Christmas Party, I was smitten. And who wouldn't be? We entered through the 'secret' side entrance into a single 22 year old female's dream: A dark smoke-filled room packed with young investment banker types.

Over the years, as the IB crush fad faded, I faithfully returned for the real charms of this former speakeasy. I fell in love with the jazzy jukebox, witty Ladies Room graffiti and peering through the window above the bar into the brownstone the place was tucked away in. Sipping a Heather's Honey under the watchful eye of Hemingway, Steinbeck and Woody Allen's portraits became a semi-regular weekend activity. Suggesting a Bitter Bulldog became a successful 2nd date mainstay.

True, I haven't been by in awhile, even though I now work only blocks from my former haunt, but I was devastated to hear of it's eminent demise. This afternoon Curbed reported a wall had collapsed and the FDNY and ConEd folks are likely tearing it down.

Oh Chumley's, you would truly be missed.

UPDATE: Official word from the Dept. of Buildings: "Earlier today, Buildings inspectors and engineers were called to assess structural damage to the building at 86 Bedford Street in Manhattan. The chimney at 86 Bedford Street separated from the interior wall and collapsed into the bar area. There were no injuries. Two buildings have been temporarily vacated pending the completion of theshoring work. The Red Cross is assisting with relocating the tenants. Buildings engineers have determined the building is not in danger of collapse. Demolition of the building is not being considered at this time." [CHUMLEY'S LIVES! ]

Keith Richards Quote Of The Day

"The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father," Richards was quoted as saying by British music magazine NME.

"He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared," he said. "... It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."

What's Worse Than Losing Your NCAA Pool Early On?

Coming in tied for 3rd place when the payout is only for 1st & 2nd.

And Where Will All The Fans Without Tickets Be At 1pm Today?

Hiding in their cubes/offices or a conference room with Cable Access.

It's opening day, Yankee fans! Regrettably, Andy Pettitte has been nursing a bad back and superstar Wang is on DL until late April, which leaves Pavano to open the season this afternoon.

Pavano!

A breeze would blow by this guy last year and he'd have to go on the DL list. Hell, the last time the guy even threw from the mound was June 27, 2005, having injured his shoulder, back, buttocks, elbow and ribs. Oh, and there's that pesky late night car crash he kept from the team...

But hey, if Mussina's OK with the guy now, so am I. Go Yanks!!!