Z. Madison

For when you're relaxing at home or killing company time - Z. Madison's here for you.


Reason Why I Am A Yankee Fan #4,295

...GeorgieBoy would never put up with this.

The Above is sadly, Barry Bonds.

Yes, it was for little kids doing an American Idolesque contest. Yes, it was an attempt to be funny. But seriously - having your star player dress in a bad drag version of Paula Abdul?

Hell would hath frozen over and Georgie Boy would sooner sell Jeter to Boston for a seat at next year's Hasty Pudding Theatricals before this would go down in The Bronx.

The F Train Follies

Remember when the new MTA rules went into effect regarding no coffee on the subway, no bags on the seats or else you'll be ticketed? Yeah, neither do I. But I did think they were a bit over the top and wondered if cops would actually waste time enforcing them.

Apparently, one officer decided to fulfill his quota on MY ride, the F train.

compliments of our friends at www.1010wins.com

"A New York City hearing officer has thrown out the ticket of a woman who had her groceries on the subway seat next to her on a nearly empty "F" train. Thirty-three year old Samantha Hoover was ticketed on January 27th by police Officer Mohammad Ishrat when he saw her grocery bag on the seat next to her.

Subway rules say that passengers can not take up more than one seat if it will interfere with other passengers or the operation of the trains.

Hoover testified that the train was nearly empty.

After 37 minutes of deliberation, Transit Adjudicator Rebecca Novak dismissed the $50 ticket."

I know the city and mta are hard pressed for cash these days, but seriously, isn't this just a waste of everyone's time?


How Excited Am I?

I've been suckered into many of VH1's shows: the endless countdowns, Surreal Life and most notably, Flavor of Love (so bad yet so so good...) One that has flown under the radar, but I still find myself craving is Celeb Fit Club where they take a bunch of has-beens who've porked up a bit, and put them through a diet and exercise regime.

Past participants have included: Wendy the Snapple Lady, Mia Tyler, Kelly Lebrock - the hottie from Wierd Science, Tempest Bledstone, Billy Baldwin - who ended up going to rehab during the taping, etc. etc. The Season 4 contestants have just been announced and my what a gang they've gathered.

Sally Struthers (guess she's not just been feeding the children),
Jennifer Tilly (the cutie from The Big Chill),
Shar Jackson (ex-wife of Kevin Federline - maybe brit brit should have signed up too it would be like a NY vs. Pumkin catfight reunion for us Flavor of Love fans!),
Lisa Welchel (Blair from Facts of Life who was already putting on the pounds when the series was wrapping),
Phil Margera (from Wild Boys),
Corey Haim (well, the other corie was on Surreal Life, why shouldn't this one also get VH1 a chance),
and Vince Neil (omg a Motley Crue member?).

This is a awesome cast...bring it on!

Congrats Drew!

I admit it. I've been obsessed with Dancing With The Stars, and Drew Lachey in particular. I was happy to see him claim the grand prize last night.

Bring on season three, ABC!


You Will Be My Father Figure?

George Michael, of a tight pair of jeans/Wham!/engaging in a lewd act in a public bathroom fame, was picked up in London for drug possession.

'"We were called by a member of the public to a man seen slumped over the steering wheel of a car," the statement said. "He was arrested on suspicion of possession of controlled substances."
He was bailed to return to a police station in late March pending a police investigation. '

Under British law, George could face up to two years of jailtime for possession. Let's hope it doesn't come to that. Hell, Kate Moss had to leave the country when she got busted...



Deathwatch 2006

It's a sad day, dear readers, Don Knotts, aka Mr. Furley as we all best knew him, has passed. (Knotts was also in The Andy Griffen Show,) He cornered the market on the gumby-esqe facial expressions and perhaps single-handedly brought down the era of the polyester pant suit. For all this, we salute you, Don. Here's hoping you continue to entertain in syndication from the sky.

We'll miss you.


Georgy Boy Predicts The Yanks Will Win The World Series This Year

But, of course he does....He's practically been foaming at the mouth for one since the upset to the Rockies in 2001.

"We're going to win it this year," the Yankees owner said Wednesday. "We're going after it."

Georgy Boy and Saint Torre then had a little Brokeback Lovefest:

Steinbrenner walked into the manager's office while Joe Torre was talking with reporters. When a reporter asked, "Who is the best owner in the majors?" Torre pointed at Steinbrenner.
"Who's the best manager in the majors?" Steinbrenner then said, before pointing to Torre.

Aww...Glad to see the boys are getting along.

One More Reason To Love That Funky Curling Sport...

The red-headed bastard stepchild of the Winter Olympics, and sport least understood has got to be Curling. For those who aren't familiar, it's kind of like shuffleboard on ice, with brooms...Now, like most of you, I haven't watched more than 15 mins of the Olympics. Apparently, Curling has quite a fanatical fanbase, as proven by what happened yesterday during the Bronze medal match.

Midway through the United States' 8-6 win over Britain, a man wearing what appeared to be a strategically placed rubber chicken ran onto one of the covered sheets of ice not being used in that session.

The jokes write themselves...Curling...streaker...RUBBER CHICKEN???

Consider me a new fan of the sport.


What To Add To Your Netflix This Week...

This movie fascinated me. I first saw it in the theater and had to buy the dvd the week it came out. It's a documentary about a guy (late 20s/early 30s) who devoted his life (and perhaps his sanity) to the grizzly bears in Alaska. He made documentaries of his summer's there, living among the bears. The footage is beautiful, funny and powerfully disturbing, as is Timothy himself.

It's no secret that Timothy was killed by one of these bears he loved. His girlfriend was with him and also was killed. The movie does not blush from this and confronts it in the first five minutes. Respectfully, they do not air the video recording of the incident, but instead concentrate on the journey of Tim's last few summers, months, weeks and days. As much of a character as Tim is, so are his friends and the local authorities.

I urge you, dear readers, to add this movie to your netflix this week, if nothing else than to see Timothy's rant against the authorities who he claims are trying to kick him off The Bear Maze. Should it air on TV, the sheer number of bleeps would make The Osbournes look like a Disney movie.

Grizzly Man (2005)

Renowned nonfiction director Werner Herzog chronicles the tragic and untimely death of outdoorsman Timothy Treadwell, who devoted his life to studying grizzly bears living in the Alaskan wilderness -- only to have one of them maul him to death. Pieced together mainly from Treadwell's own video footage, this fascinating documentary goes deep into the wilderness of one man's mind to uncover how he spent his final days.
Starring: Timothy Treadwell, Amie Huguenard, MoreDirector: Werner Herzog

Rated R For language


It's Jammin' Ave?

It appears, dear readers, that I've answered my own question regarding what idiots in city council approve these questionable street signs...

Here, in Bklyn, things are a bit more laid back than in our other four sibling Burroughs. Marty Markowitz, who puts the Prez back into borough President, and Co. have approved for part of Church Ave to be renamed after Bob Marley, legendary reggae crooner.

The bill to enact is now going before Bloomie and Co in the city council. What's your best guess for potential names?

Z. Madison suggests: Jammin' Ave, I Shot The F Train Way, No Pigeon No Fly Drive.


The Devil Plans A Luncheon

Anna Wintour is well reknown for many things: dictating fashion trends, launching the stardom of Marc Jacobs, a fierce bob and an ever present front row seat to runway shows. But most notably, she's known for being a ferocious bitch to underlings at Vogue and going through assistants like most of us hail cabs.

One of those assistants bit back in the best selling and thinly veiled 'fictional' tale of her time spent as Wintour's assistant in the book "The Devil Wears Prada." The movie version is currently being filmed with Meryl Streep cast as the Editor in Chief. Many fashionistas and frienemies have long been snickering and eagerly awaiting the release of this film and Wintour's response to it.

Who knew the Queen Bee who could make Si Newhouse her bitch has a sense of humor?

In a statement to the UK's Telegraph, she describes a luncheon she'll host on Si's dime prior to the USA premiere:

"It was Bee's [her daughter, Bee Shaffer] idea. She suggested I have a lunch for all the assistants who work on Vogue the day before the film is premièred. I think it's a great idea, and I'm thinking I will. It would be fun. I could get Prada to give a nice goodie bag to put on the chairs."

You bet your ass Prada would donate the goodybags.

Suddenly, I want to submit my resume to 4 West 42nd St. and submit to fashion bootcamp...

A few fun facts about "Nuclear Wintour": Her lifestyle is as legendary as her look. An early riser, she is up before 6am; she plays tennis every morning, has her hair and make-up done professionally, and is then driven to the office - all by 8am.

The F Train Follies - This is why I don't take the bus...

technically, not even a subway misshap, but MTA related silliness. From our friends at www.overheardinnewyork.com

and they wonder why we didn't support them in the strike...

Man #1: Open the door!

Bus driver: Go to the back door!

Man #1: ...Open up!

Man #2: Let this guy on!

Man #3: Open the door!

Bus driver: Back door's broken! Ha, ha, ha!

She hits the gas pedal.

--Q train shuttle bus


Whippet on the Loose!

I love this story...As some of you may have heard, the Westminster Dog Show was held recently. One of the finalists/winners was about to travel back to his home and while in JFK, somehow got loose. Now he's running around the terminals, having the time of his life I'm sure...



Snarky NYer Exchange of the Day

by our friends at www.overheardinnewyork.com:

Man: Miss! You are so beautiful! Your eyes! Your hair! Are you interested in modeling?

Chick: Uh--

Man: I love the way you walk. Imagine! Down a runway!

Chick: It's because my heel is broken, you fuckhead.

--59th & Lexington

The Olsens Are Finally Shot Sans Starbucks

They'll star in the new Badgley Mischka campaign...The ladies look good!

Bumpwatch 2006 Update

Angie and Maddox out and about...I'm sorry but that kid is still way too adorable. I'm a big fan of the fauxhawk on little ones and this kid rocks it like the lil' badass you know he's gonna turn out to be in a few years...

The Boys Are Back In Town...Ok, they're actually reporting to Tampa...

That's right, dear readers, it's preseason baseball time again.

Saint Torre was once again leading off the local evening sportscast. Georgieboy's doing walkthrus of batting practice. Jorge Posada reported a week early and Cano's down there with laryngitus.

I've gotta good feeling that this is our year back on top...


Bumpwatch 2006 Update

new pics of Gwennie Paltrow for you...

Time Warner's Vday Gift to You

Sport's Illustrated's annual T&Afest is on newsstands today. Downloads of the lovely ladies are also available on www.itunes.com. Enjoy!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Here's hoping, dear readers, that you all receive lots of flowers, love and laughs this Valentine's Day.


Adventures in Slushland, NYC

I'm sure, dear readers, that many of you opted as I did, for the comfort of your couch and a movie yesterday and were hit with the onslaught of the remnants of the weekend's storm during your am commute. I'm sure (most) of you dressed appropriately - galoshes/boots/dark pants that could withstand the slushy intersections/sidewalks. We should give props to the city's sanitation department - that was a helluva mess to clean up and they did a great job. However, with the temperature rising and no where for the snow to go, Sidewalk Slush is imminent.

Today I had to run around to a few meetings. A black skirt suit and stilettos were in order. Knowing this, even I - slave to fashion as I am, opted for a discreet change of footwear and a plastic nytimes delivery bag to hide the evidence. Ah, but not all fashionistas were as prepared...witness the following observation in Chelsea earlier today brought to our attention by our friends at www.gawker.com:

"I saw these two girls come out of my office building in Chelsea and I immediately knew I needed to follow them until I saw them make fools out of themselves. They were both your typical jappy-type girls, both wearing pointy toed, stiletto style heels and jackets not nearly warm enough for the weather outside. In my experience when people sacrifice common sense for fashion someone always gets hurt and I am a big fan of toasting marshmallows over the wreckage. It just so happened they were heading up the same way I was so I followed them for about two blocks and watched them tip-toe along the sidewalk in their heels. Just when I was about to break from them and cross the street, they both stepped out tentatively into the intersection. The shorter girl held onto the taller girl’s arm as they huddled for warmth and tried to make it across in those stupid, stupid shoes. The shorter girl’s foot slipped into a puddle and the whole cuff of her cream-colored pant legs got so soaked that she shrieked in horror, startling the taller girl and tipping her off balance. They both did this exaggerated crane-like dance to try to get their footing back, but it was too late. The tall girl lost her balance and crashed into a snow bank, and since she was still holding the shorter girl’s arm, the second girl came crashing down on top of her. Then they both slid down the bank and into the puddle of sludge, ruining both their shoes and pants, all the while squawking like a bunch of chickens. It was oh so awesome. Hey, that’s what you get for dressing and walking like a retard. "

for more on this, please visit our friend at:


The F Train Follies

This exchange was recently overheard on the Q line...Priceless.

The train has been sitting with its doors open.

Conductor: PA system test.

A dude leans out the door and yells to the conductor.

Dude: It's working, now can we get a fucking move on?

Conductor: Everyone, it's going to be a few more minutes while that guy thinks about what he's said.

--Q train

I Heart Bklyn

While looking for pics of Marty for the previous post, I ran into this gem from the official Brooklyn government site...

It's a You Know You're From Brooklyn When...

They listed 70 reasons. Here's the creme de la creme:

"Old Brooklynites (and neighboring areas) Understand If you ain't from Brooklyn, just forget this; you wouldn't understand. You're truly from Brooklyn if you can relate to any of the following:

11.Don't speak with an accent - everybody else does.
13.Everybody knows somebody from the neighborhood, even if it is your mother's cousin's son-in-law's sister's boyfriend.
20.It's not the "shore", its the "beach" idiot.
21.Kings Plaza.... how come we get the crappy mall?
22.Knew who the neighborhood wise guy was, but you'd never tell the cops.
40.There is a bagel bakery a few blocks away.
41.There is at least one pizzeria within 1 block of your house
53.You can correctly pronounce places like Long I-land, but aren't exactly sure where it begins.
54.You curse A lot. Or can at least out curse anyone from anywhere else.
55.You don't go to Manhattan, you go to "The City."
56.You have no reason to go to Queens, except for Met games.
59.You know the difference between going with, seeing, fooling around with and going out with someone.
61.You love "Welcome Back Kotter" (and not because of the crisp writing or great acting). 64.You never realize you have an accent until you leave.
67.Your friends came over to hang out on the stoop.
68.You've had a pigeon crap on your car and/or your head.

And the most important reason that you are a Brooklynite, or at least have the soul of one, is that You're still angry that the Dodgers left

An early V-day treat for you, dear readers...

I've nothing but love for my favorite NYC politician Marty Markowitz...but I'm in stitches visualizing the following event...

There was a stuffy fundraiser being held in Brooklyn raising money to send kids to summer camp. Imagine the folks that poney out the bucks (I'm picturing lots of of the silver haired set...) for their rubber chicken dinners. Dessert comes and now the token trinket - Marty thought it would be great to give out fortune cookies with such cutesy statements as: "Brooklyn - The 10th Planet," "Brooklyn - it's more than a freak'in tree," and "Brooklyn - it's like an everything bagel."

Someone, apparently, swapped the order with a porn convention as all the messages were, in Marty's words "Triple X to say the least."

The borough president was on the second floor of the two-level restaurant when a guest "yelled to me from the first floor: `Marty, did you order these cookies? Did you see what's inside them? I think you better get your butt down here!'" Markowitz said.

Markowitz, who was not wearing his glasses, had the "fortunes" read to him by some of the guests. "I'm sure they were meant for a raunchy bachelor party," he said. "They were not cutesy. "

Now that's one rubber chicken dinner I would gladly have attended. Poor Marty, I still love ya!

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Bill Tucker skis across an empty street in the Park Slope section of Brooklyn, New York, on Sunday. - from our friends at www.cnn.com

It's a winter wonderland out there, kids. NYC has had nearly two feet of snow dumped on us since yesterday, making the Blizzard of '06 the 2nd worst storm of all time in the area.


Since you've already been through your netflix rentals and HBO has nothing on, why not go out and have some childish fun tossing a snowball or two before downing a mug of hot cocoa?

PS - Lest you were afraid that our warm winter was over, it's suppossed to be 52 degrees on Thursday. So, enjoy the snow while you can! :)


Brit Brit Riding with Mr. SPF

So by now, dear Z. Madison readers, you've heard of Brit Brit's run in with cockroachazzi while driving with her 4 month old on her lap...Shameful as it is (and by saying it's putting lil' SPF in danger..., Brit Brit has an explanation:

"I made a mistake and so it is what it is, I guess," Spears tells "Access Hollywood"

"Being put in the situation that I was in, it was kind of bad with the paparazzi," Spears tells "Access Hollywood." "Last week, my mom and I went out and they were on us really bad, so you instinctively do what you need to do."

To be honest, I'm not even responsible enough to own a dog (keep your cracks about ms. v's wieght issues to yourself...). Never mind a 4 month old. But I'd certainly not perch the kid on my lap whilst trying to out manuver the cockroachazzi. Hasn't she learned from HoHan already???

Will one of the grandparents or a nanny please intervene aleady?

PS- chick had the nerve to show up with that slug of a husband in this costume last night...

Grammy Fashions

Now, like many of you, I didn't watch the Grammys (comeon, Lost and Project Runway were on!), but you gotta love the 'fashions' that grace the green carpet at the event. Here's Z. Madison's picks for The Good, The Bad, The Ugly and The WTF?

The Good.
Don't you just love you some Joss Stone? That girl always marches to the beat of her own drummer when it comes to fashion and although always out the the box, it always works.

The Bad.

I can appreciate that Teri's trying to be sexy and fun for this red carpet event, but it's basically a pair of boy shorts and a see through nightie on top. This isn't your gig, Teri...you should've stuck to an actual dress. This makes you look like you're trying too hard...
The Ugly.

It's Mariah.The extensions, the too much leg, too tight dress, skanky shoes...Again, it's Mariah - what do you expect?

The WTF?

Bumpwatch at the Grammys

Gwen's baby will now be blessed with L.A.M.B Baby threads and be born with a kick ass set of Bono Baby shades.


What To Add To Your Netflix This Week...

Valentine's Day is a week away...Z. Madison suggests these classics to get you in the mood...

Casablanca (1942) - Because it's the ultimate classic love story...
As time goes by, this 1942 classic starring Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman (as Rick and Ilsa, star-crossed lovers who just aren't meant to be) only gets better. Of all the "gin joints" in Morocco, Ilsa, with husband Victor (Paul Henreid) in tow, had to walk into the one owned by Rick, a former beau she abandoned in Paris. War looms over them all, and in a much-discussed ending, Rick and Ilsa make heroic but heartbreaking choices.
Starring: Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, MoreDirector: Michael Curtiz

Annie Hall (1977) - Because love is funny and often neurotic...(and because you need a reason to know and respect woody allen)
Listen closely and you can actually hear the stress hormones pumping through the bodies of the characters in Annie Hall. Woody Allen's real, funny ode to love among twitchy city dwellers scooped up Oscars for Best Picture, Best Direction, Best Actress (Diane Keaton) and Best Screenplay. And don't miss cameos of not-yet-stars Jeff Goldblum, Shelley Duvall and Sigourney Weaver.
Starring: Christopher Walken, Woody Allen, MoreDirector: Woody Allen

Say Anything (1989) - Because you know your heart still gets caught in your throat every time In Your Eyes comes on the radio...
Lloyd (John Cusack), an eternal optimist, seeks to capture the heart of Diane (Ione Skye), an unattainable high school beauty and straight-A student. She surprises just about everyone -- including herself -- when she returns the sentiment and begins to fall for Lloyd. But Diane's overly possessive Dad doesn't approve, and it's going to take more than just the power of love to conquer all.
Starring: John Cusack, Ione Skye, MoreDirector: Cameron Crowe

Before Sunrise (1995) - Because it's a cult classic about the fantasy every traveler wishes for coming true...
An American backpacker (Ethan Hawke) strikes up a conversation with a lovely fellow traveler (Julie Delpy) on the train to Vienna, Austria. He persuades her to disembark in the Austrian capital and spend the night with him (his last in Europe). Hours of talk leads to shared confidences and finally to love in this unique film from director Richard Linklater.
Starring: Ethan Hawke, Julie DelpyDirector: Richard Linklater

Sideways (2004) - Because you still can't bring yourself to order a Merlot at dinner...
Two men go on an excursion and end up inducing midlife crises in this comedy-drama that won six Independent Spirit Awards, including Best Feature and Best Director. Pinot Noir lover Miles (Paul Giamatti) convinces friend Jack (Thomas Haden Church) to enjoy his last days of bachelorhood with a wine country road trip. The pair get involved with two women (Sandra Oh and Virginia Madsen) and inevitably come face to face with their past and present.
Starring: Paul Giamatti, Thomas Haden Church, MoreDirector: Alexander Payne



Good Luck, Steelers!!!

How can you not love these guys? They've won the last three playoff games on the road. They best respresent their blue collar fans. Speaking of the fans, they've decended upon the Motor City in droves and currently outnumber the Seahawks' 3:1.

(and lastly, I want the Steelers to beat Seattle if only for redemption for their being the reason why I lost out in my 2004 suicide pool with that embarassing loss to St. Louis - blowing a 24 point lead with only 5 mins to go in the 4th Quarter...)

Dumpwatch 2006 Update

More details from the saga of Richie v. Heather...Seems Heather REALLY didn't think he was worth it...That's cold, Heather!

Richie Sambora seemed to find out his marriage was over when all of us did. Yesterday, when Heather Locklear's spokesperson announced she had filed for divorce from her husband of 11 years...ABC News quickly got a statement from Richie.He seemed quite bewildered by all of it and said: "It's completely untrue,"He even added that he had Valentine's Day plans with his wife.


Dumpwatch 2006

We here at Z. Madison heard this rumor a few weeks ago, but alas, the spokeswhores have confirmed:

Lance Armstrong apparently wasn't strong enough to be her man...Lance and Sheryl Crow have broken up.


Deathwatch 2006

Not entirely unexpected, but sad nonetheless...

A spry 378-year-old, Count Vladimir Dracula known to us as Grandpa Munster is a native Transylvanian. Grandpa is both a vampire and a scientist, with an insatiable thirst for blood and knowledge. He tries hard to tolerate daughter Lily's bumbling husband Herman. A TV Land aficionado himself, Grandpa's favorite show is My Three Sons. He also wields a handmade transistor divining rod that is capable of picking up reruns of My Little Margie. Grandpa greatly enjoys the company of his pet bat Igor, his "mouse with wings" who's a veteran of the Transylvanian Air Force.


The F Train Follies

Ok, this is also an I-hate-on-apple rant....

Recently overheard on the F Train was the following exchange:

Teen boy: Didn't you know those iPod headphones are bad for you?

Teen girl: No, they're not.

Teen boy: Uh huh. Look in your manual. It says to throw them away as soon as you buy them.

--F train


Seriously...who is naming these roads?

Dumpwatch 2006

This one came as much of a surprise as Eddie VanHalen and Valerie Bertinelli...Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora have called it quits after eleven years of marriage.

Apparently she didn't think he was 'worth it' - (little nod to my days working on the L'Oreal account...)



Georgy Boy and Damon Have a Heart to Heart

Hilarious photo of Damon courtesy of our friends at www.1010wins.com

And what did Johnny take from his hour long conversation with The Boss?...

`He definitely wants to win,'' Damon said.

Ya think???

In all seriousness, welcome to NY, Johnny. Glad to have you.



Brit Brit to Guest Star on Will & Grace

It was announced today that Spears will guest star on an upcoming Will & Grace as a conservative christian sidekick on Jack's talk show.

In the episode's storyline, Out TV is bought by a Christian TV network, paving the way for Spears to contribute a cooking segment called "Cruci-fixin's," NBC has announced,

Unfortunately KFed won't be adding extra laughs by rapping...


Way to Clean Up Girl!

I always knew there was a pretty girl under that grrlish facade...looking good, Avril!

State of the Eyebrow

So after watching the entirety of the State of the Union, including the official Democratic response, I'm left with a few lingering questions:

1. What exactly did W detail plans for? Yes, he was ambitious in his all encompassing all american agenda, but...how will we pay for many of his programs?

2. About Fucking Time - W's call for less dependance on foreign oil. His call for investing in the natural resources here in good ole USA (wind/hybrid autos/coal/etc) are to me, a dollar short and a day late...this should have been stated well before we decided to invade oil rich and extremist ruled Iraq (again, where are those pesky WMDs W?)

3. That crazy fuck Kim in N. Korea and the irate and irrational Iranians. Both are developing (ie: HAVE or are close to having and are waiving it in our faces) the capacity to build nukes. Sanctions haven't worked so far. The UN has no real cojonjes and our military is stretched too thin as it is in Iraq and Afghanistan....how will we control these SOBs?

4. Why were so many women wearing purple? I know Vogue named it the color of the Fall, but comeon, I haven't seen so many peeps in purple since the return of the California Raisen ads back in '91,,,

5. Mr. Eyebrows: aka "The [Official] Democratic Response" - aka Dem Lt. Gov Tim Kaine . [We won't hypothinize as to why this unenergetic fool got the nod to lead the party's critical response...]Now readers, I'm a die hard Dem as they come, and I anxiously awaited this response, but I was so distracted by the sideshow of this man's immensively mobile left arch that I couldn't pay attention to a word he said. Not even the hotness of Anderson Cooper could distract me (for long).

A little Anderson for the AC leaning lads and ladies...