One of my magazine reps sent an email last week asking if I'd like to take a Trapeze class. Hell Yeah! was my first thought. Last night was the day of reckoning. Walking up to the site, my heart was pounding loud enough I was sure the trainers could hear it. As I climbed the two story tall ladder with the wind whipping off the Hudson River, what the hell are you doing was the only thought running through my mind. Once on the platform and all 'chalked up' I got into position. Luckily the guy up there was not the sentimental sort. Tough love was the only thing that was going to get my petrified ass to defy logic and grab at a pole just out of reach, bend my knees and 'bunny hop' off the platform and into the air.
In all honesty, the first time he yelled "HEP!" (meaning GO), I couldn't do it. Then I thought - come on Z! You're all the way up here and when else does an opportunity like this come along? Holymotheroffuckballs...and I was off!
At this point Tough Love yelled at me to bring my legs up over the bar. "That's not going to happen!" I decreed as in the wonder of it all, my knees came up to my chest and up over the bar. I released my hands.
After a few runs, I learned that I'd qualifed for "The Catch". This involves getting your timing exactly right - first swing forward you need to get your legs up and over the bar, on the swing back you need to release your arms, next swing forward you need to trust a complete stranger with your life and limbs.
Can we do that again? (Did I also mention the dude was smokin hot with abs and forearms of steel???)
Totally something I'd do again.
Wedwatch 2007: Animal Luvin'
Mr. Alifi of Sudan was woken by a strange loud noise the eve before Valentine's Day. He ran outside to discover its source only to find Mr. Tombe getting some loving from Alifi's goat.
The Juba Post reports Alifi as saying: "When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?', he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up."
Naturally! What else should you do upon discovering some dude boinking your livestock?
Alifi then consulted The Elders who advised he not bring the man to police but to instead settle the situation in a most practical manner. They gave Tombe the animal and charged him a dowry "because he used it as his wife."
"As far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.
Justice served and apparently everyone's a winner. Except maybe the goat...
Dumpwatch 2007: Bloomie Gives GOP The Brushoff
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE June 19, 2007 No. 205 www.nyc.gov
STATEMENT BY MAYOR BLOOMBERG ON PARTY AFFILIATION
“I have filed papers with the New York City Board of Elections to change my status as a voter and register as unaffiliated with any political party. Although my plans for the future haven’t changed, I believe this brings my affiliation into alignment with how I have led and will continue to lead our City.
“A nonpartisan approach has worked wonders in New York: we’ve balanced budgets, grown our economy, improved public health, reformed the school system and made the nation’s safest city even safer.
“We have achieved real progress by overcoming the partisanship that too often puts narrow interests above the common good. As a political independent, I will continue to work with those in all political parties to find common ground, to put partisanship aside and to achieve real solutions to the challenges we face.
“Any successful elected executive knows that real results are more important than partisan battles and that good ideas should take precedence over rigid adherence to any particular political ideology. Working together, there’s no limit to what we can do.”
So how long before he announces his bid for Presidency?
Crushing On Obama
Ain't She Just The Cat's Meow?
At the ripe old age of 29, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Many of my married friends are either hopping on the baby train or already have had their little bundle of joy. My first really good girlfriend just had her little "angel" in late May.
I proudly present Lil' V above. Only three weeks old and already the kid's sporting some spunk.
Click here to get your own baby buck teeth.
Woke Up This Morning...
I know exactly what I’ll be doing come Monday morning: canceling my HBO package. I can wait out a DVD release for Entourage, Big Love and even begrudgingly miss Bill Mahar. There were two reasons I ponied up twenty bucks a month for seven channels of HBO since 1998. My ladies left a couple of years ago and as of (hopefully Chase will give us a full sixty minutes) ten o’clock Sunday night, I’ll have no more reason to care about Jersey.
The Sopranos series finale. It pains me to even type these words.
The show revolutionized the television drama genre and put HBO on the map. For all its swearing, nudity and violence, at its essence, The Sopranos was about a man conflicted; an anti-hero just struggling to make both his families thrive. A mobster in therapy? Every network it was shopped to shook their heads in disbelief. Then, HBO stepped up and greenlighted the long shot.
Al Pacino as Michael Corleone. Ray Liotta as Henry Hunt. James Gandolfini as Tony Soprano. These characters are beasts, yet you find yourself rooting for their success and survival due to the ingenious craft of the actors who bring to life the captivating scripts which created them. While The Godfather and Goodfellas glamorized Costra Nosa, David Chase would not allow us that perspective and instead showed how callous, vengeful and pitifully inept its membership could be in both their personal and professional lives.
That’s what made the show brilliant.
Edie Falco, Lorraine Braco, Michael Imperiolli, and Springteen’s own Steven Van Zandt spearheaded an incredible ensemble cast. And let’s not forget Tony Sirico (Paulie Walnuts) who’s real life troublemaking past empowered him to insist on a clause be put in his contract that his character never would be ‘a rat’ or otherwise betray The Family. David Chase’s superb writing and plot unpredictability have kept viewers alternatively enthralled or enraged, but always expectant.
The message boards are all over the place with estimated endings for this evening’s episode. Whether Tony is whacked, enters the witness protection program or just carries on as usual, I’ll be forever grateful for the opportunity to glimpse into these characters’ world.
Obligitory Parisite Hilton Post
Welcome Back, Rocket!
Did you catch coverage of the nutjob who jumped at the popemobile like he was moshing at a Linkin Park concert? The "mentally disturbed" 27 year old badly dressed German lunged at our Prada loving pontiff's ride yesterday as Benny was traveling through St. Peter's Square. The jumper actually got on to the back of the popemobile (I just love saying that word - popemobile) before being given the smackdown by security.
The kid was deemed not to be a serious threat but thrown into a psych ward quicker than Pope Eggs Benedict could give him the Sign of The Cross.
Best part? His Holiness never missed a beat smiling and waving to the masses like the Bavarian badass he is.
disclaimer - I never claimed to be a 'good' Catholic and am well aware a spot is reserved for me in Hell.
I'll give the guy points for originality, but considering how things are going this season, it's only one more reason for a Yankees fan to hang her head in shame.
The dude the NY Post dubbed "A-Rob" walked into a bank in Fort Greene last week decked out in pinstripes and successfully robbed the joint before slipping away. You know, kinda how Chicago treated us last night.
My boss nominated me to serve as "Mentor" to the summer interns for our group. As soon as I got their resumes, I asked my assistant to Facebook them (contrary to evidence such as the existence of this blog, I'm not too keen on the social networking sites and other techy things the crazy kids are doing these days). The online digging was fruitful and it appears that our interns will be a handful and have great potential for providing fodder after a few beers out with the team.
So in honor of them, I've posted the above college prank. On nearly every campus, flipping someone's dorm room stuff upside down has been done but this is hands down the best I've seen. These kids have some serious skills (and far too much time on their hands).
It's An E-Waste Drive
Z. Madison readers in the Carroll Gardens/Cobble Hill/Brooklyn Heights/Red Hook area take note, Councilmember Bill de Blasio's organized a 3-day E-Waste Drive for this weekend. The Deets:
Where: Smith & President Street (via subway, take the F or G to Carroll Street)
When: Sat. 6/2 10am - 4pm, Sun. 6/3 10am - 4pm and Mon. 6/4 4-7pm
What: Finally a place to ditch those outdated VCRs, Computers, Cell Phones, Fax Machines, etc. currently wasting space in your already crowded abode
Why: According to the EPA, approximately 70% of heavy metals present in landfills come from e-waste, creating toxins in our waste system and our environment. This is a way to more safely dispose of our unwanted e-goods and techy toys.
Thanks, Councilmember de Blasio!