The F Train Follies: Blech!

There was a highly disturbing story in the Brooklyn section of the Daily News today brought to my attention by the good folks at Gothamist. Yesterday afternoon a man and his very preggers wife boarded a Manhattan bound F train enroute to Bellevue Hospital.

By the time the train was under the East River, it was obvious the couple weren't going to make the full commute. As soon as the train entered the East Broadway stop, the man escorted his wife off the train and onto the platform where her water immediately broke...

You guessed it. She had the baby right there on the platform as four additional trains came and went.

BLECH! I need to bleach my brain to sterilize it from the imagery of the incident.

You can read all about it by clicking here.

As I Wait For The Sweet Relief Of Violent Thunderstorms

Summer came early this year to the city. After four oppressively hot days, a batch of ferocious storms are headed our way. After their passing, the temperature should drop a good twenty degrees and we'll all be able to breathe a little bit easier.

Thankfully, half of the scorcher occurred over the weekend and I could ride it out in the relative comfort of a cranking A/C and the manfriend's brother's backyard pool. (God bless the 'burbs). Yet unlike the school children who got early releases or 'heat' days off, I had to schlep my way to and fro my 9-5 with the rest of the sweaty and suffering masses come Monday morning.

Suffer we did. As most seasoned city residents know, there is hell on earth. Hell can be found on the subway platforms any day the thermometer climbs above ninety. My summer subway survival kit always includes both a wooden/cloth fan I scored years ago in Chinatown and it's more technologically advanced electronic cousin. But these tools only dull the pain until the blessed relief of an air conditioned car's embrace. At least, most of the time this is how it goes.

Then there's the other times. If a train rolls into the station with every car packed but one, you know to avoid the empty one as it's going to be a roasting inferno. At least they're pretty easy to spot. Then there's the accidental fuck-ups. These are when you are either rushing to make the train or have already stepped into a populated car too far to pop back out when you realize why everyone is so miserable looking inside. There's. No. Fucking. A/C. And you're stuck until at least the next stop which, in typical MTA fashion, could be mere minutes or not. It's usually in these moments the MTA gods laugh at you and all types of random tunnel stops and 'switch problems' occur.

Out of the past couple of days, I've had luck on my side. Until six o'clock tonight, that is. In running an errand, I had to forgo my usual ride on the downtown F and instead found myself bounding onto an uptown 1's sauna. As I became a sticky mess, at least I could find humor in my ipod, which immediately random shuffled to Hot In The City by Billy Idol.

To the MTA, thank you. Six out of seven ain't bad.

The F Train Follies - Puking Edition

To borrow the opening line from one of my favorite books, tonight was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

I had a work function at Cipriani on 42nd Street. One of my brands was a sponsor of an annual modeling event. As my management and I chatted up a few of our favorite clients, an invitation was extended to be their guest at the annual 'to-do' in Switzerland in early April. I was in shock when they insisted I come as their guest as this is an invitation I'd been coveting for a couple of years now.

Giddy with excitement and pondering where I'd go shopping for a suitable cocktail dress for the high-end dinner that would be awaiting me in Geneva, I opted to take the subway home (and save a few precious pennies for said cocktail dress). Herewith ends the Best Of Times scenario, as most blog posts featuring the NYC Subway system do.

This time, though, I cannot entirely blame the MTA. True, something was a rye on the F line as I had to wait a half hour for a packed train to arrive at Broadway/Lafayette. No, our misery begins with the packed car stopping at Second Avenue upon which the masses squeezed thier way on. I was crammed near the left-hand mid-car door when a 20something girl in a fuchsia parka slithered her way to my immediate left.

By the time we crawled one stop closer to Brooklyn at Delancy Street, I noticed girlfriend wasn't at the top of her game. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her beginning to slouch, rest her head on her extended left arm. Yet, it was the sighs that really tipped me off.

As we approached East Broadway, only one thought crossed my mind: What would I do if this girl suddenly began to puke. And just then....she did.

All over me, the girl next to me, the girl sitting down in the seat we were pressed up against and on the girl to her immediate right. It was like one of those dancing fountains outside the Bellagio in Vegas. Unfortunately for her, the girl to my immediate right got the brunt of it. As she "Oyed!", I turned to the cause of our shock. Fuchsia Coat hadn't said a word. Her eyes were half closed. She just stood there. So I asked her, "Are you OK?" at which she did a little half turn and exited the car just as the doors closed at East Broadway.

A good Samaritan gave us all some Kleenex to dab away the damage. I pointed out to my fellow victims that it could have been a helluva lot worse - the evidence proved Fuchsia Coat didn't have much of a dinner. We all handled it as well as we could and bid each other good luck with our coats at Jay Street where a hoard of unsuspecting passengers separated us and the space we were quick to vanquish.

So, to Fuchsia Coat, I sincerely hope you made it home ok. And to my fellow victims, I hope you, too, have a great dry cleaner.

The F Train Follies: Say Wha?

Sadly, this may be the best option for F train riders once the elevated Culver Viaduct at Smith/9th is closed for the better part of 2010...

Thx NYMag!

The F Train Follies

The day I've been waiting for finally arrived.

MTA workers greeted commuters this morning at the Carroll Street turnstiles by handing out rider report cards for the F line. Since moving to the hood in 1999 I've often vented my frustration at the lack of service upgrades the MTA has offered residents of Carroll Gardens and the surrounding neighborhoods' booming population growth in emails to the MTA, petitioning my local politicians and bitching with fellow passengers. (OK that last one's not exactly being proactive) Finally, there's to be an official tally of public opinion.

Hopefully recent reports of bringing back the F Express being impossible until 2012 (at the very earliest) will be sped up via public outcry like the lucky L and 7 riders will soon enjoy.

Just a few more trains during rush hours, please! Or extend the V out to Church Ave or Kings Highway. Something. Anything.

Fellow F riders, click here and make your voice heard.

Happy riding,
Z.

F Train Follies: Subway Enthusiasts Take Notice

Yes, this is totally dorky of me, but as much as I bitch about the MTA, I'm a little obsessed with the subway system. Someone more obsessed than me created an animated map showing the history of how the whole thing came to be what it is today.

Watch it for a bit and it just might put you into a trance.

Click Here to see the map in action.

Happy Hump Day

Considering the MTA, Metro North, LIRR and NJ Transit were fucked from the storm this morning, here's hoping you called in 'sick' (or were lucky enough to have had your Manfriend sleep over last night and sweetly give you a ride to work).

UPDATE: To be fair, Brooklyn did have a TORNADO. An F2 to be exact. Bugger landed in Bay Ridge and swung northeast to the base of Prospect Park. Check it out:

It's Coming! It's Really Coming!

After more than 80 years, real progress has finally been made with regard to building that urban myth called the 2nd Avenue line, aka the T Line. As soon as the initial budget is approved in late April, a ground breaking ceremony will kick off the Big Dig.

It will be the city's first new subway line in 60 years and slated to be completed (125th Street/Harlem to Hanover Square/Downtown in the Financial District) by 2020.

In the meantime, Upper East Siders might want to think about moving as you're about to be smack dab in the middle of contruction hell:

"Two lanes of traffic on Second Avenue between 96th and 92rd streets will be closed while workers relocate pipes and cables, said Mysore Nagaraja, president of MTA Capital Construction.Six to eight months later at 93rd Street, workers will dig a massive hole to lower a tunnel boring machine 70 feet down. All the while, trucks will be delivering supplies while hauling away dirt and rock.Above-ground work is authorized between 7 a.m. and 10 p.m. while tunneling will continue round-the-clock below."

For more details, click here or here.