Tiki!!!

Tiki Barber had one helluva night, almost certainly clinching a playoff spot for the Giants. While I understand why you want to go out on top Tiki, after seeing what an amazing athelete you are yet again last night, are you sure you really want to hang up your cleats? To me, it looks like you have at least another year or two in you...

Funeral Funny

I'm not sure about you, but I'm having a bit of funeral overdose with all the coverage of James Brown, President Ford and Saddam innodating the airwaves and net. But even in grief, you've gotta find a reason to laugh. Who better to bring some levity to the masses then Jacko himself?

That's Michael Jackson above, looking like he's sucking face with James Brown's corpse yesterday in Atlanta as a confused Jesse Jackson and concerned Al Sharpton look on.

As always, MJ, you don't fail to disappoint...

Thx Dlisted!

Once Again, Texas Monthly Cracks Me Up With Their Cover Selection

Bumpwatch 2006: 2007!

The ball has been installed in Times Square ready and waiting to drop on New Years Eve. It's much bigger in person than you'd think, right?

Deathwatch 2006: President Ford

I don't know much about Ford other than he was the only Vice President and President who was never elected to either post due to a scandal ridden White House, pardoned Nixon, got us out of Vietnam for good and lost to Jimmy Carter in the next election. Oh, and Chevy Chase used him as a klutzy punching bag nearly every week on SNL.

A few fun facts I've learned in the past twelve hours from our helpful friends at Cnn, 1010wins and the like:

1. Ford was born Leslie Lynch King
2. He apparently was a helluva football player and could have gone pro (the Detroit Lions and GreenBay Packers both wanted him but Ford chose to attend Yale Law School instead)
3. Last surviving member of the Warren Commission, taking any findings other than Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone to the grave

As we watch the national mourning play out over the next week or so, Z. wishes Ford's family well and is keeping a closer eye on the remaining surviving Presidents, especially 82 year olds George H. W. Bush and Jimmy Carter.

Why Haven't I Done This Before?

As a single, childless adult, it's my duty to schlep to everyone else on the holidays. Christmas means I visit my mother's side with whom I grew up on the eastern end of Long Island. For those familiar, traveling to the Hamptons from NYC and back is never easy and a commute I loathe. Most holiday mornings will find me at my computer weighing the LIRR v Jitney options as I neither own a car or even a licence at this point in my adult life.

LIRR Pros: $14.50 one way or $29.00 round trip, impending traffic is irrelevant

LIRR Cons: Penn Station, taking two trains to get to Penn Station and hoping the MTA's holiday subway schedule doesn't fuck me over, maneuvering luggage/bags/coffee/etc through various turnstiles, having to wait until 6 minutes to departure to figure out which track I'll have to herd onto, transferring at Jamaica, I'm lucky if there's four departures a day and none of them will be timely for when I'd like to arrive either in Southampton or back in the city

Jitney Pros: complimentary coffee/juice/water/NY Times/snack, a departure every hour during a twelve hour period

Jitney Cons: $29.00 one way or $54.00 round trip, the other passengers, being crammed in a bus seat with some toolbag in front of me reclining his into my lap and the passenger next to me having a lap dog constantly needing attention, crawling in the inevitable LIE traffic, transferring from the F to the A to the 4/5 to Grand Central to catch my departure and again, the MTA's holiday subway schedule/station maintenance likely fucking me over

So yesterday, I decided to try something I've never done before: Why not try the commute from the LIRR outpost at Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn?

Loveofmotherfuckinggod, why haven't I done this before??? After a $8 car service ride that took 8 minutes, I arrived in time to stock up at the onsite Starbucks, purchase a ticket on the track adjacent to mine (there's only four and each is clearly labeled as to which departures will be leaving and when) and settle into my seat. The only drawback was the 25 minute wait at Jamaica, but I used the time to finish my coffee, get in a nic fix and call my father and stepmother to wish them a merry Christmas.

The commute back was just as pleasant and I was easily able to hail a cab in the pouring rain once back in Brooklyn. Should the weather be better or if I wasn't laden with packages, I could easily take the G from Carroll Street three short stops to Fulton Street and walk the two blocks to the LIRR outpost or vice versa. As the outpost is in the base of the Atlantic Terminal mall, I could kill time getting my shop on if need be.

The discovery of this commuting option was one of the best holiday gifts I've received.

Deathwatch 2006: The Godfather of Soul

By now, you've likely heard that the self appointed "hardest working man in show business" is performing on that great stage in the sky. For a great article about his tumultuous life, click here.

Merry Christmas

Thanks, Gowanus Lounge for the pic above from Dyker Heights, Brooklyn. To see more pictures from this infamouly decked out hood, click here.

Finders Keepers

It's raining money, or at least it is on Court Street.

Doing some last minute shopping today I was ambling north on my road when I happened upon a green spot on the sidewalk. I was a $10 bill.

Happy Holidays, indeed.

Bumbwatch: Three's A Crowd

LONDON, England (AP) -- A woman with two wombs has given birth to three children in what is believed to be the first case of its kind, a hospital official said Friday.

What's more of a mindfuck than the idea of someday having three premenstral fourteen year olds under one roof? TWO WOMBS. And, apparently, it's not that uncommon. According to Yakoub Khalaf, a consulting gynecologist at Guy's and St. Thomas's Hospital who aided in this particular birthing process, one in 1,000 women have either two totally separate wombs or two partially separated ones.

Um, not a fact this worrywart needs to hear.

Let's just say that Dr. Moehlan will be under extra stress eliminating my latest fear and requests for multiple sonograms to determine what's what in my lady-parts in my upcoming visit.

Fun Fact Of The Day

A study by a pre-legalization advocacy group, citing government statistics, found Marijuana to be the #1 US cash crop. With an estimated $35 billion in annual sales, the Ganj is bigger than wheat and corn combined. Not too much of a surprise, but California leads the nation in production with nearly $14 billion in sales a year.

Source: Investor's Business Daily

Happy Holidays!

Thank you, Gowanus Lounge, for bringing us this holiday gem. Last seen in Billyburg (where else?), Santa's Helper was spreading the holiday spirit in a most outlandish manner this past weekend. Be on the lookout dear readers, he could be trolling your hood next.

Money, Money, Money!

I just got an email from one of my sales reps that begins: "You have likely seen the massive press lately on the robust bonuses Wall Street professionals will be receiving this year – Goldman Sachs alone is having a record year with employees making an average of $622,000 in bonus each!"

I'm suppossed to be targeting these bonus recipients for purchase of my luxury goods products with this newly found money. To hell with that, I want to BE this target...

Welcome Home, Baby!

I can now dust off the only baby-T Yanks jersey I own because my man Andy's coming back to the Bronx. On Friday, Cashman and Co. signed Andy Pettitte to a deal that reunites the two time All-Star with the team he helped win mulitple Post Seasons and two World Series rings for.

That's right, Z's already salivating for That Stare piercing once again from deep beneath Andy's cap while at his rightful place pitching to Posada from the mound...

And hell my evangelic Andy, you kidnapped Roger and brought him to Houston, why not convince the old man to come back? I'm sure Torre could find a way to make Johnson to give up his rotation spot for The Rocket.

Deathwatch 2006: The Demise Of The T&As

Emap, the publishers of laddy-mag FHM, announced this morning that the March 2007 issue will be the last published here in the States. Much like Teen People and Ellegirl, they will be converting to an on-line version.

The staff at Stuff must be quivering in their skivvies...

Still The Sexiest Baby Alive

Suri Cruise who? Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is still the hottest pampers pimping patootie around.

The Devil Does Barbara Walters

Babs may not have brought Anna to tears in tonight's "10 Most Fascinating People of 2006", but she did get this gem out of Ms. Wintour with regard to the movie unabashedly depicting her: "I thought the film was really entertaining...I was 100% behind it."

She also gave us a hint as to what we'll be seeing on the runways and in Vogue this fall - optimistic designs. Wintour claims that since the election, much like the optimistic sense the nation as a whole is feeling, so to is the design world.

Damn, there goes my hope of Black staying the New Black...

The F Train Follies: The MTA Shows Some Love

Z's on the look out for flying pigs and it's no wonder Sam Champion's forecasting freezing temps in Brooklyn tomorrow, for the MTA has shocked the shit out of those of us who have come to begrudgingly love the bastard stepchild of the system: The G train.

For those Manhattanites who've never heard of the little guy, the Green Gremlin solely resides in Brooklyn and Queens put-putting it's way to and fro Smith/9th and Forest Hills/71st Avenue. While this shuttle system worked well upon it's debut, times have changed. Billyburg, The Slope and BoCoCa - a term that still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth - have exploded in popularity and the current lines that serve us, namely the F, L and G are pretty much filled to capacity during rush hour. While most of us have bitched and moaned to seemingly no avail, surprisingly, the MTA was listening.

It was announced earlier this week that L train service will double and the G train will extend it's line all the way to Church Avenue in Brooklyn in 2008. Holymotherlovingfuck, Batman! 5 MORE STOPS! This potentially means less crowding, easier access to transfers and a better commute for northern Brooklynites.

However, not everyone is as excited as I am. Assemblyman Brennan brings up an excellent point:

"Extending the G line to Church Ave. is better than nothing," said Assemblyman James Brennan (D-Park Slope), who's concerned about F train overcrowding. The better solution, he said, is more F service or the arrival of the G line's great nemesis, the V train, which replaced the G line in much of Queens in 2001.

Now, THAT would be genius. Hey MTA, you listening?

Would I Be Wrong To Order Sushi For Lunch Today?

Free At Last! Free At Last! Thank God Almighty...

That's right, dear readers. The Intrepid has finally been tugged free from the mud and is now safely enroute to Jersey for much needed renovations.

See you in '08!

"Excuse Me, But..."

A Sunday Brooklyn Moment:
Sitting at the bar of Bar Tabac post brunch (ok really, really post brunch as it was now dark out) I was having a drink with "The Mayor" (a good friend of Z's new love interest who was outside getting his nic fix) when an older woman announced to the room at large "Excuse me, but does anyone know where I can find a bridge to take me back to Manhattan?" placing particular emphasis on anyone, bridge and most importantly, Manhattan.

For those not familiar with the Cobble Hill section of Smith Street in Brooklyn, Bar Tabac is situated about four blocks from the on-ramp for the Brooklyn Bridge. The Mayor and I exchanged an is-she-for-real look before ascertaining how dolled up her little party of four was and realizing that she was, in fact, serious. Apparently, it took the rest of the room to catch on to the legitimacy as well for no one said anything for a good ten seconds. And then, everyone provided directions. At once.

After grandly thanking us all, she and her party sashayed out for what I can only hope was a speedy and direct re-entry into the safe embrace of Manhattan.

1977: A Momentus Year

Studio 54 opened. Jimmy Carter suceeded Ford. Elivis died. Star Wars made its big screen debut. The Bronx burned in riots and yet Reggie Jackson lead the Yanks to a World Series Win. December 3rd Z. Madison was born. December 4th, Saturday Night Fever was released.

Fun Photo Of The Day

TGIF!