Gothamist's On To Something

Most every NY blogger has rolled out the Bitching About Tourists post at some point. Yes, yes, they walk 3-5 arm deep on the narrowest of sidewalks on which they abruptly bump fannypacks stopping to gawk up at some building and in general annoy the fuck out of those of us just trying to get where we need to be going.

Yet truth be told they're as much a part of New York as, well...New Yorkers. I'll admit, I actually enjoy helping the helpless halfwits out. Not everyone can be a human OnStar, you know.

Bloomie and the city council are feeling the same way and recently launched an ad campaign speaking to the 'Rists. Here's some of their helpful hints:

1. Call 311 or (212) NEW-YORK for all information about the city.
2. Fifth Avenue divides Manhattan into the East Side and West Side.
3. When getting directions, always ask for the cross streets (i.e. 810 Seventh Avenue, between 52nd and 53rd Streets).
4. In Manhattan, if you walk 20 blocks north or south, you have walked one mile.
5. If the number on the top of the taxicab is lit, it means the cab is available.
6. It is customary to tip 15 to 20 percent to wait staff, bartenders and taxi drivers.
7. MetroCards work on both buses and subways, and transfers between the two are free.
8. Free wireless Internet is available at many public parks.
9. Many businesses, including pharmacies and delis, are open 24 hours.
10. Have a question about NYC? Just ask the locals, or to go to nycvisit.com.

Numbers 2, 3 and 5 should be mandatory welcome signs at any entry point to Manhattan but the rest I believe can be spruced up a bit. The folks over at Gothamist agree.

I'm not going to wade into the Fuck Them I'm A Fucking NYer Hatefest, but here's my suggestions:

1. Maps are your friends. Learn the layout of the place you're visiting, especially if it's a GRID.

2. Stay to the right - on stairs, escalators and sidewalk. Simply put, you're slower than us and road rage ain't got nothing on Pedestrian Pique.

3. You have every right to pay your respects downtown. Just don't ask me how to get to Ground Zero like it's an amusement park. And never phrase it as "Where's 9/11?" unless you really want your kids to hear some colorful colloquy.

4. Save you money, ladies. No one's going to believe that Katie Spade or Louis Wuitton is real anyway. Instead, after visiting Ground Zero, walk across the street to Century 21 or scout out Loehmanns in Chelsea.

Fellow NYers, feel free to add your suggestions in the comments section...

His Hotness And Her Highness

Cue your Tivos because Bubba and Oprah are teaming up for what should be a compelling hour of TV. The hour long interview will tout Bill's new book "Giving" which, coincidentally acclaims Ms. Winfrey for her Angel's Network proving Bill continues his reign as the I'll scratch your back and you scratch mine kind of guy.

Not a bad political coup for the potential First Gentleman considering Oprah's recently come out in support of Hil's opponent Obama.

Bubba will work the shows of dinosaur (and general train wreck) Larry King as well as Letterman next week.

Source: 1010wins

Happy 55th to Pee Wee

Pee Wee Herman turns the ripe old age of 55 today. Admit it, you've tried the Tequila dance in those platforms and still can attempt his maniacal laugh.

Be sure to give a nod to your local smut theater in homage...

The Hoff Has His Moment

After hearing Howard Stern blast the trashtastic crooning of our beloved Hasselhoff on last night's America's Got Talent Finale, I have been trolling the internet to find video of this most compelling bit of entertainment.

The 2:20 and 3 minute marks are my favorite parts.

Enjoy!

Deathwatch 2007: Holy Cow!

The Yankees confirmed today that Phil Rizzuto has passed on to that big game in the sky. He was 89 and remains a baseball legend both as a player (as a leadoff hitter and shortstop for the infamous 1940s/50s Yankee Dynasty) and as a broadcaster. The ever humble Scooter was finally admitted into Cooperstown in 1994 thanks to an persuasive plea from friend Ted Williams.

Besides running constant biographies et al on YES, I'll be curious to see how the Yanks honor #10 over the next week or so...

Get Your Shop On

The Prada sample sale is next week. 60-80% off both Prada and Mui Mui brands for both the ladies and the lads.

Book your appointment today as slots are quickly filling up...

Click here

Religious Recruitment Technique - Billyburg Style

Thanks to Gowanus Lounge for finding this gem of a picture in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

Happy Hump Day

Considering the MTA, Metro North, LIRR and NJ Transit were fucked from the storm this morning, here's hoping you called in 'sick' (or were lucky enough to have had your Manfriend sleep over last night and sweetly give you a ride to work).

UPDATE: To be fair, Brooklyn did have a TORNADO. An F2 to be exact. Bugger landed in Bay Ridge and swung northeast to the base of Prospect Park. Check it out:

Talk About A Money Shot!

While I cannot wrap my mind around what their combined net annual salaries are, I know it's more than even I could possibly squander on the four corners of 57th Street and 5th Avenue. (Van Cleef, Blvgari, Bergdorfs and Tiffany's! Oh My!). I'm just curious as to when the newest and surprisingly shorter American Super-Athlete's going to earn his due. MLS musings aside, congrats must be bestowed on Mr. 500-Rod, a shout out given to fellow pinstriper Matsui (100 Career Home Runs) and that other New York team for Glavine's 300th Win.

Even though Yanks fans have been keenly eyeing the standings all season, now's the time of year all fans begin casting a nervous and watchful gaze at each league's division leaders while trying to keep up on the mathematical Wild Card scenarios (and I start dropping serious hints to my sales reps about tickets).

My take on the perfect playoff scenario would be for it to come down to the Cubbies (currently one game back in the Central Division) versus the still comfortably in the lead Mets for the National League Championship. Loyalty to my town would have me rooting for the Mets, but in that scenario a Cubbie clinch would warm my cold black heart. As for the American League - you gotta' ask? What better way for the Bronx to enter the World Series than by scratching out a scrappy seventh game win over BoSox Nation.

Ah, but we still have the dog days of Summer to slug through and 30 long days in September of watching and waiting. Play ball, boys. Play ball.

Deathwatch 2007: Another Laddie Mag Bites The Dust

Coming as no surprise to most in the industry, the new owners of recently purchased Dennis Publishing are going to fold in Stuff into Maxim as a regular section as of this upcoming holiday issue. Stuff was created as a buffer for powerhouse Maxim in a then highly combative "Laddie Mag" arena back in the late 90s/early 00s by eating up paging which might otherwise go to FHM and the like.

With the whole young men's category imploding faster than the Teen segment did a few years ago, Maxim's now the lone cowboy still standing in the frat-boy niche Details ignores and Esquire and GQ have a snowball's chance in hell of reaching.

Ah, Stuff, we hardly knew ye...

Bumpwatch 2007: Clearly Blondes Do Have More Fun

One of the worst kept secrets in Hell-ay was confirmed today. In taping a segment for GMA, Nicole Richie admitted that she's close to the end of her first trimester. Christina Aguliara should be making a similar announcement any second now.

I'm digging these 'bumps' as I sincerely like both these girls, er women. Yes, Xtina went through her dirty phase but thankfully that turned out to be just that - a phase. The woman's got a set of pipes even Whitney Houston can envy. I always knew she'd outlast the blond bimbo teeny-bopper competitive set of the late 90s/early 00s. And Richie? The girl cracks me up. Always has. Good for her. Just be sure to take care of yourself, sweetheart (and in turn the little one).

Congrats, Ladies!

PS - Thx for the pic Dlisted