There's A Reason They Call Them KILLER Whales, You Know...

Kasatka, a feisty Orca who is captive at Sea World in San Diego, decided she'd had enough with the dog and pony show yesterday afternoon.

During the last show of the day, Badass Kas' trainer was supposed to dive off her nose as he's done every show for years. When he tried to do so, she decided instead to clamp down on his foot and pin him to the bottom of the pool. The hundreds of spectators were relieved to see both Badass Kas and Ken Peters emerge unscathed. But, Badass Kas must not have taken her daily dose of Midol because she immediately repeated the clamp/pin-down procedure.

A horrified audience watched as Sea World employees began splashing at the water trying to calm Badass Kas down and coax her 5,000+ lb self up to the surface, which she did soon thereafter. Trainers quickly threw down a net between our Orca and a shaken Peters, who quickly discovered he'd need medical attention.

Not to worry, dear readers. He's fine.

I can't say I blame Badass Kas. I think she thought she was playing with him. Besides, if someone was trying to jump off my nose 10x a day, I'd likely bite back, too.

Red States Lose

Seriously, this article warrants the December Cover? God bless Texas...

Let There Be Light

Prospect Park had it's annual holiday lighting ceremony last night. In true Brooklyn tradition, the spectacle refuses to follow mainstream rules of holiday decor and instead makes a larger than life statement (just check out those 'waves'!)

For details on how you can enjoy the sights this season, click here.

Glad You're Sticking Around, Moose

It's official. Georgieboy and Co. have finally re-signed beloved Veteran Pitcher Mike Mussina for two more years with a $23MM contract.

Desperate to forget last year, I've already started the countdown until Pitchers and Catchers report to Tampa. Three months and counting...

Dumpwatch 2006: White Trash Edition

And they seemed like such a down-to-earth homebodies kind of couple...

Gobble Gobble

Top Ten Things I'm Thankful For This Thanksgiving:
!. Dems taking control of DC
2. Dems taking control of New York
3. Yellow Briefs
4. Being fired from the job I hated back in January. If it wasn't for that setback, I wouldn't have found the perfect placement I enjoy today.
5. Venus saying to hell with the current tabloid trends (aka Nicole Richie, Ellen Pompeo and the like.)
6. Thanksgiving Dinner with two of my Grandparents today. And a phone call to my Grandma who couldn't make it.
7. ABC for following HBO's dasterdly lead leaving me wanting for more Sawyer and Jack until February.
8. NBC for not only waiting it out with The Office, but making a part of must see TV on Thursday nights.
9. Vinny's in Carroll Gardens for always making a perfect Chicken Cutlet Parm. Every time.
10. Why you, dear readers, of course. Enjoy your Turducken/turkey/tofuerkey et al.

xoxo - Z.
PS - Thanks to Gowanus Lounge for the picture. Should you not have plans yet, check him out...

Seriously?

My weekend update from the MTA came early due to the holiday.

I'm in shock. For the first time in seven weeks, I received the following message:

F
No diversions scheduled.

It's almost too good to be true.

Fox Actually Has A Conscious?

Pigs are flying and Hell's Kitchen has frozen over for FOX has bowed to morality and cancelled not only the airing of the OJ "How I Did It" special, but the publication of the book itself.

The Second Most Uncomfortable Three Minutes I've Seen On TV Today

By now you've likely watched the above tirade by Michael Richards, aka Kramer on Seinfeld.

As work has had me by the jugular for the past week or so, I haven't had the chance to do much of anything, nevermind get my pop culture fix. I did glance at cnn.com before leaving and got the gist of the now infamous Richards unraveling. However, I didn't actually watch the video until I was home, about to turn on Letterman because Jerry Seinfeld was on pimping the seventh season of SEINFELD just released on DVD.

Wow.

I knew Dave wouldn't make it through one minute of warm-up banter without asking Jerry about the incident. He actually went one better. With Jerry acting as an ambassador, Michael Richards himself appeared via satellite. While a clearly disturbed Richards fumbled through an outrageously uncomfortable apology, Jerry, always the consummate gentleman, stood by his friend even while condemning what happened.

While the rest of the country is up in arms, you just know Mel Gibson is breathing a huge sigh of relief...

Does That Make You Horny?

I'd dig any man who could confidently strut his stuff donning this number from American Apparel.

Caption This Contest

Although I know I shouldn't, I can't help but to be entirely disturbed by the above photo currently headlining CNN.com's main news story.

Z's giving out a prize for whoever comes up with the best caption. As Z's also broke, the prize is simply notoriety and bragging rights.

Quote away, dear readers!

UPDATE: You're all winners in my book, although I've gotta hand it to Jamie - this does indeed look like a Weddings announcement in the Times Sunday Style Section.

Bumpwatch 2009: Citifield

It was only a matter of time, but indeed the Metropolitans have sold out. Citigroup, a company that houses two gleaming skyscrapers within site of Flushing, Queens has agreed to a nearly $20 million annual deal for the naming rights of the new Mets Stadium which will henceforth be known at Citifield, slated to open in time for the 2009 season. The twenty year deal (with options to extend the partnership up to thirty-five years) will be announced at the official ground breaking ceremony on Monday.

Somehow I doubt the Yankees will sell their soul and instead will forgo a naming rights bidding war. Then again, when serious cash is up for grabs, anything can happen...

TGIF

Election Hangover

What a wild ride: The Dems have taken the House and likely the Senate, we're going to have a Madame Speaker and Rummy is stepping down.

Amidst all the political hoopla, I wanted to bring your attention to the above. It's a picture from Rick Santorum's consession speech. I'm not even sure where to begin.

The bawling girl who looks like she's in a Brownie uniform? Too easy.

The fact that this guy seems to have enough off-spring to fill both rosters of a little league game? Nope. Not it.

Play closer attention to the awkward teen to his father's left, dear readers...

You've gotta respect the kid for flipping off the entire nation because Daddy lost.

It's A Good Day To Be A Dem

Hell, it's always a good day to be a New Yorker. Meet our new Governor, Elliot Spitzer. Yeah, he's bald, what of it?

You already know one of our Senators. Hey Hil, when are we gonna talk '08?

Andrew, baby, not as charismatic or photogentic as your father, but I love ya anyway (and Jeanine, darlin, when are you going to pull a Britney Spears and dump your KFed of a husband? Had it not been for your ill-fated Senate run and harsh early douchbaggery dumpfest from your party, you could have been a contender.)

Hevesi, our chauffeur-happy re-elected Comptroller...I didn't want to vote for you. I ultimately went with your record. But, I trust in Elliot. Whatever The Gov wants to do, let it be done. And, Hev, invest in car service, will ya?

For an astounding Brooklyn-centric take, be sure to check out the ever diligent, intelligent and observant Gowanus Lounge slant. Check out Gowanus Lounge anyway as it always delivers what you want to know in the way you'd want to know of the goings-on the the best borough of them all.

(Yes, clearly Z. Madison crushes on Gowanus Lounge, as should you.)

Dumpwatch 2006: It's About Fucking Time

After showing off a newly svetle shape on Letterman last night, Britney had more than one reason to shake her once again taut tail. She finally kicked KFed to the curb! Click here for details.

Need I Say More?

Deathwatch 2006: Did You Really Think It Would End Any Other Way?

The verdict was handed down today in the drama-filled trial of Saddam Hussein: Death by hanging. For the full breakdown and Saddam's angry reaction, click here.

Letterman's Coney Island Pumpkin Explosion

In case you missed it...

Bitter Much?

Shanna Moakler had her much ballyhooed divorce party in Vegas last night. This is the ho who put the smackdown to Parasite Hilton not too long ago. Milk it for all it's worth, Shanna, but I'm pretty sure your fifteen minutes are nearly up...

This Is Why I Don't Have Them

Did you hear about this kid? Grandma was out shopping with the tike and his three siblings and ended up treating them all to a romp in an arcade. After little Robbie was unsuccessful fishing a SpongeBob with one of those plastic grabby-things, Grandma went to get him cash for another try.

Ah but the kid was resourceful and realized the chances of winning were slim to none. No, he knew the path to success was much more simple than that. The little snot maker removed his coat and squirmed his way up and into the machine where Grandma found him soon thereafter. Karma's a bitch as the employees didn't have a key. Our little Robbie had to wait it out in the stuffed animal cage until the fire department could come and fish him out.

After all that, little Robbie left without even a small stuffed animal as compensation for his troubles. Personally, I'd blacklist him from every Chucky Cheese for life.

Tonight, I'm Getting My Popcorn & Twizzlers On

It's going to be rude, crude and make me hate many of my fellow Americans.

And, I expect to love every cringing minute of it.

For the glowing reviews, click here.

UPDATE: Definitely one to slap down your $10 on to see in the theater. Often hilarious, even if uncomfortably so, sometimes downright disgusting. Oh, and I'm mentally scarred by the whole hotel wrestling scene, although I've never laughed so hard in my life. Seriously, TEARS of laughter...

Hot Holiday Gift Ideas: For Your Cubemate

That's right, dear readers, give him his very own Pro Thumb Wrestling Ring!

"The Thumb Wrestling Ring is made of high quality plastic and flexible ropes along with real elastic turnbuckles. The ring's holes are designed for all sizes of thumb as well as a high impact, shock resistant handle.

An Official Rulebook is included with the Thumb Wrestling Ring. Sections include "How To Win," "How To Lose," as well as sections on the time honored traditions of Cheating, Whining and Betting."

Click here for purchasing details.

Tune In Alert

Set your tivos or hunker down on the couch for Thursday's Letterman episode. Dave will be dispatching Biff to Coney Island where they'll be blowing up a giant pumpkin - one which weighs well over a 1,000 pounds.

Admit it, you're intrigued.

Poor Kerry, Even The Troops Are Poking Fun

Deathwatch 2006: When Spinoffs Attack

Starting in January, we are rolling Jewelry W into W Magazine--increasing our focus on jewelry and watches in W, and no longer publishing Jewelry W as a stand alone magazine.

The plan is:
- For the first time ever, W will have jewelry and watch editorial in every issue. Er, you claim you already do...
- There will be four "focus" issues of W timed to key months, with dramatically expanded editorial coverage (May, June, October, November) the months Jewelry W was published and the December issue of W will become the Jewelry and Watch Issue--a themed issue dedicated to what's most top of mind for luxury consumers over the holidays. Bet your ass you will

Of course, the big question is why?
1. We wanted to increase the focus on jewelry and watches in W to reflect the growing importance of both markets. The original reason you began publishing W Jewelry
2. Jewelry W was highly successful among the smaller community of 75,000 people it served--but we wanted to grow the size of the audience.
Our new plan means the beautiful pages of Jewelry W will now be seen by all W magazine readers. aka all the marketors realized they didn't need to pay for the full circulation of W when for a fraction of the cost they could buy W Jewelry, creating an oh-fuck moment for the revenue number crunchers

W magazine is already the leader in the quantity and quality of editorial we dedicate to women's fine jewelry and watches. With this new plan, there is no question which magazine is most important to luxury jewelry and watch consumers and most dedicated to the jewelry and watch industries. Oh yeah?
As a Jewelry W advertiser, we will be approaching you with a plan for how we think your advertising dollars would be best invested in W. This should be interesting

We look forward to a successful year ahead! I bet you do

Bon Voyage, Marty!

Not to worry, dear Brooklynites. Our favorite Borough Prez isn't decamping Court Street for good, only for a jaunt ACROSS THE POND to pimp Brooklyn as a hot tourist destination.

What's on his agenda?
*Tea with London's Lord Mayor Janet Hopton (I'd love to be a fly on the wall for this one)
*Taking in a performance of Evita in the West End
*Getting his drink on at a Tasting of NY Wines (actually, this is the one I'd love to be at)

Fret not, Brooklynites. Your tax dollars aren't involved. Marriot's picking up the tab.

Thx Daily News