Gmail Can Kiss My Ass

Dear Google,

I've had my Gmail account for four years now. Never have I tried to change my password. Yesterday evening, when I went to log-in, I received the following response:

"username and password do not match"

After numerous attempts to log-on and following instructions on deleting cookies, removing the pop-up blocker, attempting to reset password, etc I am still unable to log on. Nor can I seem to get any technical help (or a human response) to my inquiries.

Your server has hijacked access to my inbox, and therefore my life.

Can't someone please provide me with assistance?

Sincerely,
Z.

Barry Obama

Barack's high school yearbook provides a classic look inside the man. Love it!

Thx DailyKos!

The State Is...Apparently Strong

Fortified on my usual EM order of Beef Pad Thai (seriously I’m like a crack fiend for that stuff), I’ve hunkered down to witness the annual dog and pony show known as The State Of The Union.

The Fashion:
The ladies last year were all pimped out in purple. Nice to see a bit more diversity this year. A few of the men mixed it up with interesting ties, but not much you can do with your basic navy suit. Hillary was working her softer side with a pink cashmere cable sweater shell and matching oversized pink pearls under a smoke grey pantsuit (‘natch). Nice earrings. Whereas Nancy, my dear, WHY? Mint green, layered mint green shells, you look like you're off to an Easter Egg Hunt on the Front Lawn, not to be forever immortalized as the first female Speaker. You knew you’d be in front of a red, white and blue striped flag sitting on a brown chair – why that particular color choice?. I'll never understand DC 'fashion' although I did find myself digging Laura’s asymmetrically buttoned red jacket, and dare I say it? Condi looks good – best of the night: simple, sleek black skirt suit accessorized by the requisite white pearls.

And so it begins…

A historic stand and clap for Madame Speaker makes me smile. (I still hate your suit. Good God woman, it's tweed?) Kudos to W for making the acknowledgement of this symbolic moment a priority.

Sit, stand, clap. Clap, stand, sit. Clap, nope - let’s not stand on this one. Clap, stand, sit.

Every body clap.

Republicans only clap. Cut to Hillary and Obama look disgusted (great job placing them together in the camera shot). Ted Kennedy looks like he’s asleep and Cheney’s sucking on a lozenge he ‘discreetly’ pulled out of his back pocket for dear life. Oddly, Nancy Pelosi, who has not discreetly or brazenly pulled one out of her pocket, also looks for much of the speech that she is sucking on mentholated Halls.

Nothing much new is introduced in the remaining 40 mins. Although the subway hero’s applause session was amusing.

I know W’s practically a lame duck at this point, but I expected more than hearing the same empty promises on health care and the environment, the evil terrorists, Cuba and the like. The troop surge support setup was also pretty weak.

With regard to the war, my pushing-30 self wasn’t around during the early stages of Vietnam, but I wonder, is this the same rhetoric as State Of The Unions during that time?

According to our fearless leader, the state of our union is strong. Methinks it’ll be stronger in oh, about two years…

DO NOT BE ALARMED!!!

"NYPD: Don't Be Alarmed by Filming at Brooklyn Bridge

NEW YORK (1010 WINS) -- The NYPD announced Monday film activities in the Brooklyn Bridge area. Beginning Tuesday at 4 p.m., continuing on weekdays through the month of January, a movie is being made near the Brooklyn Bridge and will involve flood lighting, Armyand Coast Guard helicopters, mock police and military vehicles and over 1,000 extras for an evacuation scene. The announcement was to alert the public that the scene is not an emergency. "

(Also note, dear readers, that your cabride will likely take 3x as long as ususal so best to go over the Manhattan Bridge...)

Congrats Chicago and Indy!

If the Pats had won, I'd be hoping you shuffle on to a Superbowl win, Chicago. However, I'm happy at least one of the Manning brothers is appearing at the big dance down in Miami.

Should be an excellent game...

I've Been Waiting Years For This

The F Train Follies - This Commute's A Killer

My ride, the F train, attacked today.

Z's thoughts (I'm not a praying kind of girl) go out to the 25 year old's family and friends as the full story begins to unfold.

The Axe Is Falling

Tis the season for layoffs it seems. For all the Time Inc staff and the two people I personally know who got laid off in the past week, Z presents the Top Ten Reasons It's Good To Be Downsized:

*You'll be able to check out the launch of the Supersized Today Show
*The potential to be the most informed guest at that Oscar Party having wasted afternoons for the next month seeing every nomination
*That twenty-four-hours-of-"24" is now a distinct possibility
* What better time to start a blog?
*Sleeping in
*No more Sunday Night Insomnia or Monday Morning Blues
*You're not going to be in a situation like this anytime soon
*Every day is Dress Down Friday
*Your morning cup of coffee is a leisure activity, not a rushed necessity
*You can surf the net to your heart's content without worry Big Brother is watching

I Wish The Two Of You Would Just Team Up

Z's not looking forward to the bloodbath about to ensue. Love ya' both. Isn't there any way the two of you could figure out a way to do it together rather than to tear the Dem base apart?

Forget McCain, Giuliani and the rest of the bend-over not-quite-Right. My eye is on the Democratic Race. It’s going to be ugly. Politics being what politics will be, I cringe at the thought of what the next year will bring. It will come as no surprise that McCain will eventually ask a deflated ego-ed Giuliani to agree to be his running mate. The Good Ole Party has no other serious contenders. What their hoping for is my worst fear: a Democratic Deathmatch between Hil, Barack and, surprisingly, Edwards.

We’re poised to take back the White House and yet this ménage-a-toi will divide the party quicker then you can say toh-may-toh, toe-mah-toh. Dems will vote Dem.That’s not up for consideration. The underlying question is: will they vote for a woman, a black man or the safety. Experience (irrefutable yet some would argue through her husband and because she stood by her man), charisma (and something new, entirely optimistic, yet green and as yet undefined other than by a obligtory dull and unexposing autobiography, a couple of talk show appearances and a surfside six-pack photo-op) and something tried and true (who submitted after defeat to being the sloppy seconds to the wooden flip-floppy soldier).

What’s a Dem to do?

People will argue that the Independents will decide this race. I’m not arguing that because based on the years I’ve been eligible to vote, it’s been the truth. However, they’re not registered for the Primaries. And, Primaries come first. That’s the showdown I’m dreading.

And People Call My Cat Fat

Behold Hercules, dear readers. Click here to learn more about this lovable lump(s) of fur.

Thx Dlisted!

Funnies From Grandpop

My octgenarian Grandfather sent me the above email today with the subject line "Senior Eye Test."

Who's better than him?

I Continue To Heart Jake Gyllenhaal

I saw this on SNL last night and was praying it'd be on youtube today. Jake, you're the Hotness.

I Have A New Love

He's big, black and weighs a mere 5.5 ounces. His potential is as of yet untapped, but I'm sure he'll provide hours and hours of entertainment. To prove this point, he's already agreed to bring me Jon Stewart as a weekday subway commute companion.

I'm in techno heaven.

In related news, my beloved RAZR and I parted ways somewhere between the Rainbow Room and my apartment Friday night. The bastards at Cingular have me under lockdown in my current contract and I had to pay the full purchase price to replace her. Fuckers. Learn from my mistake dear readers. Two words: Phone Insurance.

Oh, The Irony

Unlikely news from our friends at 1010wins: A fire broke out in, of all places, the East Meadow (Long Island) Fire Department. Click here for what details are available.

In Response To A Week Of Hell

This was me at 6pm yesterday after logging 72.25 hours this week.

Thx Gowanus Lounge!

Deathwatch 2007: Straight Men No Longer Have Any Hope

My boys in Chelsea haven't had their 2(x)ists in such a tizzy since the demise of Splash. Bravo announced yesterday that they were, indeed, hitting the final nail in the Queer Eye coffin. A spokeswhore for Bravo issued this statement:

“We proudly watched as viewers embraced the series that really helped open the closet doors on gays and their presence on television and in popular culture.”

I was a huge fan of the show when it first premiered and while I still salivate for Kyan (a newly single girl's solo experiences know no sexually orientated barriers), the news isn't terribly surprising as ratings have dropped significantly since the series launch four years ago.

One can only hope that this also means the end to Carson Kressley's fame (although he'll likely show up on TV Guide Channel as a sidekick to Joan Rivers or a similar bullshit gig).

I Might Die (or kill my boss)

To hell with the optimism from the previous post.

It's 4:46 AM and I just called a call to take me home from work. I'll have just enough time to shower, brew some coffee, run across the street to pick up my suit at the dry cleaners and head back to the city for a client meeting in midtown.

And do it all again tonight/tomorrow for Friday's client meeting.

I hope I don't pass out in my meeting. Keep your fingers crossed dear readers from about 9;30am - 2pm-ish...

Half Full

There are advantages to working 16+ hours a day all week...

• *No time to wallow in the previous shitty weekend's emotional letdown
• *The city looks beautiful and serene as a black town car whisks you safely home
• *Nothing good was on TV anyway
• *Dinner on the corporate card
• *Jeans and Pumas are perfectly acceptable and expected work-wardrobe choices
• *No shame in blasting socially questionable i-tunes selections from your computer speakers
• *Repeats of Anderson Cooper 360 are on to lull you to sleep once you do return home. If you're extremely lucky, The Coop will make an appearance in dreamland.
• *The knowlege that once you finish presenting the pitch on Friday, there's a 3-day weekend blissfully awaiting
  

Larry King Takes His Life Into His Hands

The current Donald/Rosie playground fight that's all over the media needs no more attention, but I found this picture too funny not to share.

God bless you Larry for doing what a lot of us wouldn't have had the balls to. Not even Rosie.

Let's Hope My Building Isn't About To Blow Up

As I arrived at work in the West Village today, I noticed a strong odor on my walk from West 4th Street to my building on Hudson/Houston.

Inside our office building, it also stunk. Our office manager continued to give updates that basically said no one knew what was happening and we were waiting to hear from the Mayor, while AP reports broke the news that the MTA and PATH transit systems were suspending service, and rumors of gas leaks in Chealsea and on Bleeker/4th were occurring. Bloomberg finally gave a press conference a little before 11am admitting that on Bleeker/6th there was indeed a gas leak, "but wasn't strong enough to produce the vast odor" and that everything is absolutely safe.

Con Ed, of course, has no fucking idea what or where it is. So yeah, Bloomie - I feel safe.

Personally, I preferred the Maple Syrup aroma that permeated the area a year or so ago. At least that made me hungry and not afraid to go outside for my post-lunch nic fix.

Chin Up, Tony!

A botched snap led to one of the wildest of wild card losses for the Dallas Cowboys and heartache for Pro Bowler QB Tony Romo.

Tony, you're the reason why the Cowboys even made it to the playoffs. This play will undoubtedly be a tough pill to swallow, but please learn from it and put it behind you. You're young, talented and only at the start of your career.

Hopefully your lady will give you a little extra TLC this off-season.

PS - It's also a bad day to be a NY football fan as much like the Mets/Yanks fell in the post-season, so did the Jets/Giants. It's all about next year, right?

Been There, Done That

Break-ups are never fun. And they never quite go how you want them to.

You'd think after countless experiences both being the dumper and the dumpee that one would be able to roll maturely though, yet again, deciding that this is not the person for you.

No. Instead, hours after 'the talk' and drowning your sorrows, you send an incoherent email professing your hate/love and aggressively attempt to get him to answer his phone at 2 AM (which thankfully went unanswered and unvoicemailed).

And you feel like a complete ass the next day.

Because really, what was the point of all that? Men are like jeans. You're going to have to try on a lot of pairs before you find one that fits. Luckily, I live in NY where there's endless points of purchase. Off to shop I go.

Now That's My Kind Of Product Placement

Tip from our friends at AdAge: "If you happen to be dining Italian in New York, Los Angeles or Chicago Jan. 10-13, you may get a glass of consumer marketing to go with your pasta. 'Rome,' HBO's sex-blood-and-togas series, is offering a complimentary bottle of wine at some eateries to promote its second season.

HBO will offer complimentary bottles of "Rome" cabernet sauvignon at more than 100 eateries in the three cities to promote the second-season launch of its sex-blood-and-togas series, debuting Jan. 14. consumers will be presented with a polite card at their tables: "A taste of 'Rome' awaits you. Ask server for details."

Personally, I've tried to get into this show, but. just. can't. Genius PR move though.

File Under: Don't Let The Door Hit You In The Ass On The Way Out

In exchange for one reliever, three minor leaguers and a $2MM payout on his 2007 contract, the Yanks back office has finally come to its senses and sent the Big Unit back to whence he came.

Deathwatch 2007: The OC

The final episode of the drama will air 9 p.m. EST Thursday, Feb. 22, Fox TV and Warner Bros. Television Production Inc. said Wednesday.

Enjoy it while you still can, dear readers. The three of you that still tune-in that is.

Sometimes Pictures Speak For Themselves

Oops

In an attempt to answer that lingering question, CNN done did fuck up by broadcasting the following headline during Monday evening's edition of Wolf Blitzer's The Situation Room:

"Where's Obama?"

Er, that was supposed to be "Where's Osama?"

Both Soledad O'Brien and Blitzer offered separate apologies during CNN's morning show Tuesday which Obama's camp accepted.

"Though I'd note that the `s' and `b' keys aren't all that close to each other, I assume it was just an unfortunate mistake" Obama's spokeswhore Vietor snarked today.

Freudian slip anyone?